rapid weight loss during pregnancy | Coconut Oil

rapid weight loss during pregnancy

I love coconut oil!  I use it for lip balm, lotion, cooking and several other things! Its pretty much amazing. Its anti-inflamatory, anti-microbial, anti-viral and helps you to absorb more nutrients from your food. You can use it for moisturizer and even deodorant.   Kael thinks its pretty awesome, too.  He wanted to put some on his lips yesterday, so I let him. Then, I just watched as he continued to rub it all in his hair and eat finger scoops of it. He must have been listening to me earlier when I was telling Sam how good it is for curly hair...haha.  I figured the mess would be minimal and he was having fun experimenting with the texture. Needless to say,  Kael smells like a tropical beach boy. =)

Have you ever used coconut oil? Here is an amazing link that tells you over 100 different uses for it! CLICK HERE  Do you have a favorite recipe or usage for it? Id love to hear! 

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reasons for weight loss during pregnancy | Heart Thoughts on Motherhood

reasons for weight loss during pregnancy

Its hitting me. The reality that this new, small soul is mine. Around 5 am, as Cedar finished up his early morning and very sleepy feeding, I couldnt put him down. My body longed for those extra 2 hours of sleep that I knew it would get if I laid him back in his co-sleeper. But, my eyes couldnt leave his face and my arms wouldnt let go. I sat there for almost an hour, staring at him and his dreaming smiles. I put my face to his cheek, as his tiny breaths kissed my cheek thinking, "is this love even for real?"

Now, when I nurse Cedar, hell stop for a moment, look at me and smile. I cant help but soak up these moments. Every morning, without fail, his expressions are full of wonder. Its as if he realizes how long he has been asleep and he cant wait to have open eyes again, discovering exciting things like the ceiling fan and his brother zooming toys in front of his face. haha. He wants to stand up constantly, bobbing his head around trying to look ever which way. Ah! Ive probably kissed him over a thousand times since hes been born, I cant help it. Ive stood in front of my old, gold mirror, countless times as Ive held him,  just so I could stare at his dreamy face, all smooshed up against my chest. These are days that Ive been dreaming of for years. Sometimes, I have to stand back and acknowledge the moment before is passes by.

Samuel said this to me after we got engaged, "Lets promise each other that no matter what, we wont lose the wonder that we have for each other." That has been a pillar in my heart and its taken weight into my momma heart as well. In the moments, when one child is whining and the other crying, where a shower is my only form of alone time and a greek yogurt in a nursing bra and yoga pants is my only real meal of the day...not to lose the wonder of my boys and wonder of being their safe place.

In weeks like this, when Ive had bright days and cloudy ones, my heart is gripped with this truth, motherhood is a sacred and beautiful gift. Its a messy one, a painful one, its tiring and beyond beautiful...it breaks your heart and then heals it. It has made me more alive to love and the beauty of vulnerability. Im saying that in the "infant" stages, if you will, of my journey as a momma, knowing that Ive barely skimmed the surface of what being a mom truly means. There are millions of moments that my heart has yet to experience, laughs it hasnt seen, tears it hasnt cried and wisdom its waiting to learn.

I love being a momma.

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natural weight loss during pregnancy | Remember Windland

natural weight loss during pregnancy

I wrote this on July 8th. 

"The word "tradition" itself derives from the Latin tradere or traderer literally meaning to transmit, to hand over, to give for safekeeping. "

Today, it rained, then the sun came out. It rained again and once more, the sun decided to have the last act of the day, not much different than most days this month. But, July 8th is a day that will forever be noted on my calendar. It was the projected due date of my baby, Windland, that we lost a year and a half ago in a miscarriage. I wrote my heart about that time here and here.

I cried only once, maybe twice today. I realize that Ive come so far and grown so deeply. Ive grown  in love, in pain, in joy, in compassion, in questioning, in peace,  in empathy, in beauty, and in the raw realities of living. Ive lived in the darkest canyons of grief in the deepest ocean, craving water instead of air to fill my lungs and Ive been pulled up to the surface of the living, of light and oxygen and love. Cedar really was my rescuer. Hes been the sweetest of sweet joys that a soul could be, given to help comfort and heal. I cannot put into words the love and adoration that I feel towards this happy little boy.  In the same tone though, there is a piece of my heart that will always be missing and aching. I made sure that today, I did something to remember my little love that breezed by our lives a year and a half ago.

Recently, one of my closest friends lost her baby in a miscarriage. It was a tragic and devastating loss. While in the process of grieving with her,  I had a dream. I dont typically dream much. But, in this dream, I dreamed of a little girl with curls, like Kaels but a bit longer and lighter. She was around 2 years old, but was speaking more like a 5 year old. She was showing Cedar and Kael how to skip rocks on a creek bank. Almost being a little momma. All 3 of them were giggling. She turned around and smiled at me and I saw her face. She was mine. "Oh, youre my Windland!?" I said. She nodded and smiled,  then went back to playing as if it were the most natural thing in the world. I woke up. I didnt want to wake up. Whether that was a real dream or not, it comforted my soul immensely.

Creating beauty in the mundane and seeing the good in front of me, instead of only the awful is a driving part of me.  I like to think that this passion is in all of my children; a bit of my wild love for life and people, living and thriving in them.   I live to celebrate and to love. So, to pass by today with only tears, didnt seem natural to me. I had to do something. I thought to myself, Windland was and is my child, a small spirit that I want to blow a kiss to. A kiss with love and maybe somehow an embrace.   So, this afternoon as the boys played, I went outside and thought about the winds of love this baby created. My Windland wasnt a purposeless life. Theres something about making traditions, physically doing, saying or singing something that attaches the dreams, loves or aches of our heart to reality and something good, some kind of hope? I wanted Windland to have one. I needed to have one.

I let the day play out naturally, enjoying the boys and then I found myself outside, making a tiny little crown of greenery from the woods in our back yard. This is for her, I thought. Cedar came out with me for a  bit, playing with the leaves and curling vines. As I wove the stems together, I reflected on the time I had felt, before the pain, and tried to harness that joy and elation. Then, coming back inside the house, I sat down and wrote out her name, as beautifully as I could. It was a sweet moment, in the middle of the crazy, right before dinner time.  Each bend and curve of my pen felt sacred, somehow connecting me to her. I started off to scribble a little note on the other side of the paper when, what started off as a sweet letter, soon turned into a gentle tear and then into heart gushing, finishing with a settled soul and maybe even a smile.  In a way, it made me feel happy that I found my own tradition to celebrate the tiny heart that forever changed me.

For the short time my baby was here, Windlands  sweet breeze created beauty just by her presence. The wonder of winter turning into spring, heart break fading into love and disappointment evolving into hope is something I know. Cedar wouldnt have even been a possibility if I hadnt miscarried, seeing I got surprisingly pregnant with him 2 short weeks later. Cedar is my springtime, my love, my little hope that carries the gentle truth of redemption. Am I still sad? Yeah, I am. Can I imagine or think of life without my Cedar baby? Not even for a second. Thats the complicated reality of life and love, I suppose.


"Willow"
by: Songs of Water
We hung our harps on the willow tree, still the wind formed hands and plucked out its melodies. 
Our hearts rejoiced as if it were a dream, when the seeds of our tears became a field of wheat. 
Look what hes done, look what hes done for us. He turned our songless night into a symphony of praise.

http://www.reverbnation.com/songsofwater/song/5106298-willow

This was written by a friend of ours, who lost his best friend in an accident right before finding out he and his wife were pregnant with their first child.  The first verse is my favorite: "We hung our harps on the willow trees, still the wind formed hands and plucked out its melodies." The first half of that line is referencing Psalm 137:2, when the Jewish nation was forced out of their land to live captive, pretty much as slaves, in the land of the then current super power. They had lost all heart, joy and hope. "Hanging up your harps" was like "throwing in the towel." They were done with expecting good. The grief and heartbreak was too much.  The part saying, "Still the wind formed hands and plucked out its melodies..." Good lord. I listened to this song again, randomly after I had already named Windland and gotten pregnant with Cedar. I burst into tears when the words spilled over into my soul and the gently, haunting chorus filled up my car. Somehow, they were good tears. It comforted me. In some way, a song settled the confusion of my heart, as I was looking for a place to put my emotions. It gave word and tone to the meaning of my disillusioned state. My brain thinks in imagery so, it was the language I needed to hear.  Even in the sadness, my little breeze played a melody. A perfect little song, named Cedar.


As I am sitting here, writing the thoughts of today,  both of my boys are laughing and screaming as loud as they possibly can, as their daddy tickles and chases them around the living room. Cedar, the pure delight of my soul, goes from moods of happiness to frustration, as he realizes he cant run and jump like his big brother can, although hes walking. What? How did that happen?  Kaels curls are a glowing crown of wild, in the early evening light, and I want to kiss his chubby cheeks a thousand times over. Im soaking up this sweet moment, as if it were the last time my ears would ever again be able to hear the sound of joy. Soaking in the moment has become a gift that has been strengthened in my heart. The art of clinging to the good, pausing and acknowledging the beauty that is in front of me has become my moment by moment practice. Telling my children that I love them is my mantra, holding them to my heart is my physical prayer.  Life has taught and is teaching me this gift.


Today, Im remembering. Im remembering the joy of telling my best friends that I was pregnant, jumping around ChickFila like a crazy person. Im remembering the elation that I felt, when calling my friend Kristina in Florida, squealing on the phone and talking forever that night about this baby being redemption, after such a sad season. There was joy. Im remembering the look on Sams face and him instantly telling me girl names that he loved. I remember feeling Windlands goodness inside of my soul, at the kitchen sink and singing to her. I remember loving and dreaming. This is what Im remembering today.


Windland Sweetheart, 

You were and still are a beautiful dream. Our dream... my dream. 

I love you forever. 

Momma

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overnight weight loss during pregnancy | Backyard Friends

overnight weight loss during pregnancy

Warm days are treasures to me! Weve had SO much rain and unseasonably chilly weather that a sunny day is kind of sacred now. Lorean, one of my closest girlfriends, dropped by my house last week with her kids Micah and Asher. (Who I adore like my own!)  Micah and Kael have been buddies since they were born and it was all squeals and giggles on our back deck, as Micah doused Kael with the water hose. He kept yelling for her to get him and she gladly obliged, haha.  They were both in heaven. When I heard all of their happy laughs and screams, I jumped outside to take a few pictures. I love these crazy kids so much and I love how they are growing up together. I cant believe they will both be 3 this year?! (tears) Memories of gold for me right here. 

BTW, If you have dont have a kiddie pool, put your water hose on "mist!" its the best water gun and source of entertainment for warm days at our house! 

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pregnancy weight loss in third trimester | Will you try again Thoughts on another pregnancy after a pregnancy after loss

pregnancy weight loss in third trimester

Recently, weve had several people ask whether we would have try for more children after this pregnancy. None of them were nosy strangers; they were all people who knew about our losses and are generally concerned about our future, know that we have wanted a large family and also the toll that several miscarriages have had on us.

We dont really have a definitive answer at this point. Truly, I dont feel comfortable making that decision now...or ever. I just cant say that well never have more children because we really do try to take it one month at a time. Since this baby isnt even here yet, I have no idea where well be physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially when my cycles return (it took 11 months after Lucia was born, so were looking at somewhere around October 2016 before wed even need to make a decision of any kind). But, it is something we do think about and talk about and so heres where were at right now.

My pregnancy, labor, and delivery were Lucia was incredibly affirming of our desire for a large family. Aside from the normal symptoms of morning sickness in the first trimester and heartburn in the third, I felt wonderful my entire pregnancy. The pregnancy was textbook perfect, without a single complication. The labor and delivery were also complication and intervention free. And I was probably one of the most laid back pregnant women - I never once called my midwives with questions, never worried about my health or the health of the baby, I cant remember ever being anxious or confused or scared about any aspect of pregnancy. After Lucia was born, I was so confident in the ability of my body to create and nurture children and I looked forward to the pregnancies to come and the large family we would have.

That pregnancy was such a gift. I know so many women who have never been able to have that experience. Their first pregnancies ended in miscarriage, or were overshadowed with serious complications or mental health issues, or came after years of infertility struggles which left them with little confidence in their bodies abilities to do what should come naturally.

But early motherhood for me came easy, physically and emotionally. Even after Lucia was here, being a mom seemed natural and I never struggled with my changing roles. I always wanted to be a mother and when I became one, everything about it seemed so intuitive. It all seemed like an affirmation of where my life was going; if motherhood felt so right - physically, emotionally, practically - then didnt it make sense that I would have many children, the chance to replicate these experiences over and over?
________________

My due date for this baby is exactly three weeks shy of four years since my due date with Lucia. We certainly didnt expect our children to be this far apart in age. Many couples wait much longer than we have for a living child. We know that while our path hasnt been easy, it could have been much more difficult and we are grateful for our blessings. But we are also wary for our future.

This pregnancy has been very trying for me. After four miscarriages, the belief that my body knows what its supposed to do, or even that its a safe place for our child, is no longer intact. Physically this pregnancy is much more difficult and I constantly feel worn down and in some form of pain. Its nothing to complain about really, its all within the realm of "normal" for a pregnancy and certainly is worth enduring for my child, but it is another reminder that my body isnt quite so conducive to pregnancy as I once thought. Emotionally, this pregnancy has been strenuous and when I look ahead to future pregnancies, I cant imagine that theyll be much easier. Its tempting to try to assume that a healthy labor, delivery, and baby at the end of this pregnancy will heal much of the pain of the past and make future pregnancies easier, but it seems much more likely that the scars will remain long after this pregnancy.

At this point, the thought of ever getting pregnant again is terrifying. I cannot count the times during this pregnancy, during moments of extreme anxiety, when Ive made my husband promise wed never, ever try to get pregnant again.  Just the thought of trying is panic inducing. Attempting to conceive a child is not an exciting, hope-filled endeavor for us anymore. After all, two-thirds of our children have died, a sobering statistic that sucks the joy out of thoughts of growing our family. We have no way of knowing whether I carried past the first trimester this time because of the surgery that removed endometriosis or whether this was just a random occurrence. Perhaps endometriosis wasnt even the problem in the first place, and the real issue is still there. I have no idea what my chances are for future miscarriages. As anxiety-ridden as it has been, I believe I could probably handle another healthy pregnancy, but Im not entirely sure I could cope with more miscarriages or a complication-riddled pregnancy. I have obligations to care for husband and living children and worry that attempts to expand our family further would prevent me from caring for the family I already have.

Perhaps after this baby is born, our future fertility plans will become more clear. I pray that circumstances may change so that we might still have the large family we always longed for. Im young enough that I have more than a decade of fertility ahead of me, so I assume we will try again at some point. However, because I had endometriosis, which even after surgery has a high chance for coming back (and only gets worse over time), there is a lot of pressure to get pregnant again right away. I dont think well do that and perhaps Ill need to have surgery again later down the road if we decide to try for more children. Perhaps Ill have more miscarriages. Maybe Ill suffer from secondary infertility.

Looking ahead at our future family, we acknowledge that its entirely possible that, for whatever reason, this baby may be our last living child. Its a thought that brings me sadness but, at the same time, a measure of relief. Knowing that, if we find ourselves in the position of needing to, we can avoid pregnancy the rest of our childbearing years is a blessing. Its not a decision we take lightly; we are dedicated to being open to life and not using artificial means to prevent pregnancy and would welcome any surprise children God sent our way, but having that option is something we need to know is available to us. We are blessed in that while NFP has been emotionally draining when trying to conceive and navigate the medical side of miscarriage, its been pretty easy for us to utilize to avoid pregnancy and I wonder if this is not the reason why - because perhaps well need to use it for many, many years.

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pregnancy weight loss hormone | Nordstrom 100 Gift Card Winner!

pregnancy weight loss hormone

Thank you all for your readership and comments on this blog.  Im thrilled to celebrate you today and couldnt wait to see who won the $100 gift card to Nordstrom!  And the winner is . . . .

Thank you to everyone who entered! Have a great weekend!

Via healthemily.tumblr.com

Read the rest of this post >>

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post pregnancy weight loss help | Christmas always comes anyway And our Christmas letter

post pregnancy weight loss help

Christmas is in two days and I am not even close to being ready. The last of my Christmas cards went out yesterday, thank goodness, but I still have several presents to buy. Davey still cries most of his waking hours and after a few days of only waking two times at night(!!!), he didnt really sleep at all last night and Im feeling a bit worn. I had planned to write a gift guide for friends/family who have had losses and even lined up a few great giveaways, but it just never came together in time. Ill still write it and there will still be great giveaways, just sometime in January...or February...or whenever.

The good thing about Christmas though is that it comes whether we are ready or not. We all need Christ in our lives, even if we dont know it or havent prepared for Him, and perhaps He comes more for those who are unprepared than anyone else. Thats not to say that we shouldnt ready our hearts and our lives for His return, because thats definitely part of what Advent is about. But if you never got around to lighting the Advent candles even once (but I got them out! That counts for something, right?) because youre busy serving His kingdom in other ways (*ahem* nursing and changing the diapers of one of the precious children He loves so much), Christmas and its joy are still coming for you just the same, as long as you allow yourself to see that joy despite the earthly imperfections of the celebration.

Last year, I felt equally unprepared for Christmas, though for much different reasons. Id just had my fourth consecutive miscarriage less than a week before. I was feeling sick and tired and heartbroken. But Christmas came anyway and there was joy in it even though I didnt feel it at the time. Mostly I felt the pain and heartache of my losses, the absence of the babies would who be celebrating their first Christmas and the babies who would have been still in my womb.

Even though I get to celebrate a special little sons first Christmas this year, I still keenly feel the absence of the two others who would be celebrating their first Christmas and the two who would be celebrating their second. I miss them. Its much easier to feel the joy, but the heartache is still there too. This is what "bittersweet" feels like.

Anyway, what a difference a year makes. Last year, I shared on the blog the Christmas newsletter I didnt send because we had no good news to share. This year we did send a Christmas letter because we had lots of good news to share. (And we received more cards than ever, starting very early in the Christmas season! It was a good year all around!) I didnt write everything I wanted to write. I wanted to share that wed made it through two more due dates. I wanted to sign the names of all our children on the card. But I didnt. Because not everyone we send cards to knows about our losses and, for some, Id like to keep it that way. And because there is a part of me that want to be "normal" again, that wants to pretend like those losses never happen and know what its like to just send out a Christmas letter with only happy things to share. Of course, we can never go back to what it was like before our losses and I think theyve changed us is both negative and positive ways, but sometimes its nice to purposely forget for a while.

Without further ado, here is our Christmas letter 2015 (with just a few edits from the version we sent out to maintain some privacy):

Dear family and friends,

     2015 was a big year for us! In June, we moved back to Colorado. We greatly miss the friends we left in North Carolina, especially our communities at our parish and David’s school, but are grateful to be back near family.

     David found a job as a Field Application Scientist at a small company in the area. He is enjoying the opportunity to be back in the lab and his new job requires him to travel.

     Our son, David Newton Richards, Jr., was born on November 11. He made quite the (quick) entrance and was delivered by his daddy in the car! Despite the circumstances, both baby and mama were perfectly healthy. Little Davey was baptized on November 22 in the same parish where Lucia was baptized and we were married. We are delighting in our baby boy. Lulu loves being a big sister and spends the majority of her days kissing and cuddling him.

     Lucia turned four on December 5. She’s a very active girl who rarely keeps still! She is interested in learning to write and loves to dance and do crafts. She keeps busy in a ballet/tap class and gymnastics.

     We have also gotten involved in activities in our new community. David joined the Knights of Columbus at our parish and Mandi is part of a Catholic moms’ group. We’ve especially enjoyed rejoining our friends in the Catholic couples group we attended here previously.

     We are currently under contract to buy our first home! If everything goes well, we’ll be closing at the end of January.

     This year, we also welcomed a new niece and attended the wedding of Mandi’s best friend and the Church wedding of David’s cousin. Lulu was a flower girl twice!

     It has been a year of great blessings for us and we hope it has been the same for you and your family. We pray that God bless you this holiday season and in the new year to come!

With love,

David, Mandi, Lucia, and Davey

 


Photo by Dandy Little Lens Photography

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