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Kamis, 21 April 2016

weight loss early pregnancy sign | Ultimate Workout Playlist 60 Songs

weight loss early pregnancy sign


Im a huge proponent of using music in your workouts to help get you going.  Even on my most low energy, depressed days, when Im literally dragging myself to the gym or park with a head full of self-talk like, "Just WALK for 15 minutes- you dont have to run or lift weights." If, when I get there, I put my ipod on, after a few minutes, I cant help but start running or working out harder.  Like music magic.

Lyrics, tempo, beat, and rhythm get me in the mood to work out.  I like booty-shakin music, R&B, Christian Pop, and a little rock-n-roll.  Below are the top 60 songs currently on my "Work Out" Playlist.


To get me moving or start the workout I love to hear "Good Morning" by Mandisa & Toby Mac.


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When its time to lift heavy weights on squats, "Sober" by Pink is great because its a little slower (which is how I like to do squats, and I feel like it makes me dig deep).


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In the groove and feeling good?


"Starships" by Nicki Minaj



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"Only Girl in the World" by Rihanna


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"Raise Your Glass" by Pink


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"S&M" by Rihanna


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"Life in the Fast Lane" by The Eagles


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"Lose Yourself" by Eminem


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"I Gotta Feeling" by The Black Eyed Peas


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If youre working out some emotional stuff, going through a heartbreak, or life is just generally shitty, here are a few songs to give you some encouragement.

"Stronger" by Kelly Clarkson


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 "Fighter" by Christina Aguilera


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"Perfect" by Pink



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"Overcomer" by Mandisa (I added the lyrics to the whole song because its so perfect.)


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Ready to cool down and stretch?  "You & I" by Lada GaGa starts with a great slower tempo.


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"Where is the Love" by Black Eyed Peas


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Lets share.  What are your favorite songs to workout to?  


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Rabu, 20 April 2016

weight loss early pregnancy no sickness | Time to Get Movin Again Cardio Bike Riding

weight loss early pregnancy no sickness


Whenever Ive let exercise slip to the back burner, when I start back up, I like to add in several sessions of hard cardio to get my heart pumping again.  This week, Ive been doing 50 minutes at a time in the gym: 20 minutes on the treadmill at level 4 (a brisk walk), then 30 minutes on the stair climber at level 60-70.  I make sure to bring my ipod or a magazine to keep me company for that amount of time.  I also cover the clock on the machine so Im not aware of how slowly the time passes and just check periodically.  It feels so great when youre done and in the following days as you can feel your body responding, getting lighter and stronger.

Last week, my 3 year-old son got a bigger bike with training wheels, which prompted me to bust out my bike. I havent ridden in years!  But as soon as I got back on, I remembered how much I like it.  Now, I want to ride my bike everyday.




Not to mention, its great exercise and always a good idea to get out of your exercise rut and try something new.  I put my gears on a hard setting that makes me work for each pedal and then ride around the neighborhood.  Im a little scared to try the bike trails in our park for fear of getting run over by the more experienced, fast riders.  Bike riding can be challenging, but its mostly fun and a great way to get exercise outside of the gym! 


Have a great weekend!  Take care of YOU!





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Jumat, 08 April 2016

mumsnet pregnancy weight lose | Trying Again

mumsnet pregnancy weight lose


Yesterday (Christmas) was one of the hardest days of my life. Everywhere I looked amongst the family celebrations, I saw the ghosts of our missing children. When the cousins played together, there was one missing. When we took family photos, they felt so incomplete. My stomach felt so small and flat and empty. I mostly thought of the first child we lost, Francis, the one who would be seven months now. I wonder if next Christmas will be just as hard. Which child will I think about then? Francis or Julian, who would be celebrating their second Christmas then? Or the little ones who would be born in the next year, Adrienne or Christian, who would be celebrating their first Christmas? Knowing that its not even possible for me to hold a baby in my arms next Christmas made the day even more bleak. I felt robbed of Christmas past, Christmas present, and Christmas future.

Maybe this year is just so hard because I miscarried less than a week before Christmas? Although maybe Ill miscarry a week before next Christmas too. Or maybe Ill be pregnant then, far enough along that Ill be feeling confident, and not  the deep despair and fear that early pregnancy holds for me now. I can only pray that is the case, I cant even hope for it anymore.

What this last, fourth miscarriage has finally done that the first three were unable to accomplish was strip me of all hope. One, two, even three miscarriages in a row can be explained by chance, bad luck, even three different random, unrelated occurrences. Four is...heavy. There is the weight of an underlying cause there. So far, my doctor hasnt been able to find it. Ill have surgery next month to check on a few more things, all which are fairly unlikely anyway, but if my doctor doesnt find anything then thats it. There will be no more treatable causes, everything else would just be an answer with no solution. And I dont feel the desire to know just to know; if there is nothing I can do about it, the knowledge has no meaning to me.

Im still young (though repeat pregnancy loss has aged me in ways I cant really explain; I feel so old inside) and potentially have many more years of fertility before me. Well keep trying, over and over again, knowing that there is some possibility, no matter how small, that I will be able to give birth to a living child. Lucia is proof of that. How we got lucky with a healthy first pregnancy, Ill never know but Im so grateful for that. Well try again as soon as Im physically well enough, emotionally healed enough, and get the go ahead from my doctor.

While I have some friends who struggle with hyper fertility who look at their future years of potential fertility and count how many children that could possibly mean, I think in terms of how many miscarriages those years can bring. Unless Im coming straight off a miscarriage (which is apparently a very fertile time according to studies Ive read and my personal experience), it takes me longer than the average woman to get pregnant, but not by much. I can get pregnant. Four pregnancies in less than a year and a half prove that. Four miscarriages in 14 months. Even if my fertile years end early and fertility decreases over time, I could still have 20+ miscarriages. The odds for that are small, of course. In 20 pregnancies, Id most likely bring at least a few babies to birth. But, when I see my future, 20 miscarriages is one of the possibilities I can visualize. I can no longer visualize an outcome where there is a baby in my arms. My mind just cant conceptualize that anymore.

As Catholics, we believe that pregnancy should only be postponed (using Natural Family Planning) for serious reasons. Those reasons vary by couple of course and the Church does not have a list of reasons. Personally, David and I cant justify postponing pregnancy based on miscarriage risk alone. As long as I am (physically and emotionally) healthy enough to get pregnant again, we wont prevent it beyond the few months my doctor asks us to wait after a loss. (Whether to wait to not, and how long, after a miscarriage is controversial as there are studies that show getting pregnant again right away has better outcomes and other studies show the opposite. Weve decided to give my doctor the benefit of the doubt and follow all my doctors instructions for the time being. Ive gotten pregnant right away and Ive waited and both had the same outcome anyway.)

The idea of not charting and not specifically trying to get pregnant but just letting it happen when it happens is very appealing to me, because the trying is very stressful in itself. But as long as my doctor still has hope that we can find a treatable cause and that catching a pregnancy early will give the baby a better chance of survival, Ill suffer through it. Charting seems to force us to specifically try to get pregnant each month because we know exactly when our fertile days are and we have to decide whether we will have sex then. Since we want a baby, we feel like we cant not use those days. If we didnt chart and didnt know which exact days were most fertile, I dont think Id end up a puddle of tears every time my period came because I wouldnt know if we actually tried to get pregnant. It wouldnt be a disappointment, another proof that my body doesnt work quite right. There wouldnt be that expectation that we did everything right, well get pregnant this month, oh please, oh please, oh please.

Coming to terms with recurrent pregnancy loss (RPL) and what that means for the long term for our family means coming up with a new perspective on life, a new way of living. Even if we having another living child, even if its our very next pregnancy only a year and some months away, that probably wont end my RPL. Ill probably have more miscarriages after that. Of course, I dont know the future, but most likely whatever is causing this isnt going to disappear or ever be completely "fixed". And so that means that we will for the next 10-15 years have cycles of trying to conceive, pregnancy, miscarriage, recovery, trying to conceive, miscarriage, recovery...

And I cant go through those the way I have done in the past. The past year and a half hasnt been living, its been surviving. Ive just tried to get from one stage to another, thinking at some point things will change and well regain our lives. Its been living with the pain of trying to conceive thinking, It will all be better once I get those two pink lines. And then living with the stress and fear and utter despair of pregnancy thinking, It will all be better once I see that heartbeat. And then the heartbeat isnt there or I start bleeding and I think, If I can only make it past this miscarriage. And then the bleeding stops and I start thinking, If only I can make it through the next few months of testing and waiting, then we can try again. And it starts all over. And in the meantime, my life is on hold. There is no joy, there is no moving forward. Everything waits. Everything is at a standstill waiting for the baby, the one we want so badly, the one that will restore a little bit of joy into our family.

I need to find a way to restore that joy without that child, for who knows if that baby will ever come. I need to find a way to truly live in the meantime. And so Ive been working on humility, on saying, Its not about me. Nothing is about me. Its never been about me. I am only here to do Gods will. No matter what I want or I dont want or how much pain I suffer , I can always serve God every situation. It is not about me. It is not about me. Its only about Him. I am only about Him. It is not about my babies that will never be born. It is about The Baby who was born so long ago. It is not about me. And its helping. Most days, this is what gets me out of bed in the morning. Most days, it allows me to focus on the big picture, what really matters. Because its when I focus on the details of my small insignificant life that the pain becomes crushing and I become frozen in the pain and anger and fear.



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Jumat, 18 Maret 2016

weight loss last trimester pregnancy | What is Good What is Difficult

weight loss last trimester pregnancy


Hallie Lord wrote this piece a few days ago saying its ok to when you have mixed feelings about pregnancy. What bravery it can take to admit within Catholic, pro-life circles that each new baby is not immediately met with joy and nothing but joy. This adds another valuable piece to the discussion on pregnancy started recently by this article discussing the importance of acknowledging the struggles of pregnancy.

Perhaps the question that most deeply reaches the root of these issues is Why are we afraid to admit that things that are the most good are often also the most difficult? It seems almost obvious that anything truly good would require sacrifice; Satan certainly does not want us to do what is good and therefore will confound our efforts in every way. Things that are bad, well, those seems to be so easy. For a reason. Dont underestimate the enemy. He is cunning. This world has been corrupted so that sin easily flourishes and those who do the will of God have an uphill battle.

I worry that some Christians hope to share the faith by portraying it as a pathway to obtaining your hearts desires. If only you follow, Christ, they say, you will be happy! All the time! Life will be easy. Prayer and true faith will wipe away all your burdens. We have to be careful to acknowledge that while Christ is the source of joy, we are not promised earthly happiness or a lack of suffering. We have only to look at the lives of the Saints for confirmation of this. There are Saints who suffered painful diseases, the murder of spouses, the death of young children, rape, abusive marriages, and torturous deaths. If those men, women, and children, the exalted examples of faithfulness, experienced such suffering then surely Christian faith is not some magic charm that repels all bad that might befall us. I cannot imagine the Saints in their midst of their suffering would be described as "happy" in the earthly sense, but joy - oh they exuded the joy of Christ even then!

Many people ask what we need to do to attract young people to the faith. The answer is not to make faith fit effortlessly into their lives by making it easy. I drive by a church with a sign that proudly proclaims, "Like to sleep in on the weekends? We make church convenient for you!" People arent looking for a faith that is convenient so they can go on living their lives exactly the same. They are looking for a faith that radically changes their lives and challenges them. Young people are searching for something and an easy religion that asks nothing of them doesnt fulfill that longing. They are not looking for a "safe faith". Christ said, "Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me." A tall order, but how can we do great things of great things are not asked of us?

"Safe?" said Mr Beaver ..."Who said anything about safe? Course he isnt safe. But hes good. Hes the King, I tell you.”-C.S. Lewis, The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe 


It is not love to only share part of the Gospel, the sanitized, safe little story of a God who loves us and wants us to be happy. We must authentically share the faith and in order to do so, we much acknowledge that with the joy of Christ also comes our individual crosses, some of them quite heavy. How much more powerful is it to share the stories of Christians who have suffered greatly, even died for their faith, but loved God so much through it all, than a story of a perfect little life in which Christianity was easy. Im apt to believe that the early Christians flocked to the faith because they saw how powerful it was - people were ripped to shreds by lions in the arena for their Christian faith, and with a smile on their faces and songs on their lips! If they were looking for something safe and easy, Christianity would have been the last thing they would have chosen. They werent looking for easy, but for Truth! How ineffective in comparison is a faith practiced by those who are blessed all their lives. That god seems nothing more than a genie, a wish-granter. How easy it must be to love a sweet, kind god who makes your life perfect! Theres an appeal there, of course, but since all of us will experiencing some suffering in our lives, its easy to lose a faith based on a god who grants earthly happiness to his faithful. That is a faith built on straw, with no basis in the scriptures. Instead, we must teach a faith built on rock.

In our faith, the faith built on Peter, Christs rock, human life is greatly valued. A new pregnancy and a new child are always good. But not always easy. There is no reason for guilt in acknowledging that. In fact, by doing so, we are elevating human life even more - how valuable is a new life that we are willing to endure great hardship to bear it! Therein lies a truth that our Catholic ancestors knew quite well and embraced much better than we do today, that Christian life is demanding and that those very demands are what set us apart and demonstrate to those around us the greatness of our God.






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Minggu, 13 Maret 2016

after baby weight lose exercises | Small Steps Everyday

after baby weight lose exercises



via A House in the Hills

All those little, difficult, kickyourass steps are worth it.  Over time, they add up to a lot of distance.  And only you can take your steps so YOU OWN THEM.  No one can take your steps away.  Be proud of them.  Im proud of you.  Today I am thankful for every woman who has written to me and trusted me with her story, her struggle and who has taken the time to encourage me too.  I think we need each other. 

I had a beautiful breakfast with my two close girlfriends this weekend and it was long overdue.  We used to do breakfast regularly at "our place" but now I cant remember the last time we were all together in the morning.  So, Im thankful for those two women who give me strength and who appreciate me, flaws and all.  I always say theres nothing better in the world than a little baby, but girlfriends are pretty high up there too. 

I hope you have a great week!  Take a small step today.  


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Selasa, 08 Maret 2016

loose skin after pregnancy weight loss | Creating Space

loose skin after pregnancy weight loss


Its been over a week since weve returned from our trip and Im doing pretty well. Today my daughter, out of the blue, told me Im, "full of joy" and since little kids are very perceptive, Im taking her at her word. I have felt joy returning over the past week.

One of the things Ive done that has been most helpful in healing has been ridding our home of baby and maternity items. I started the process a while ago and have slowly been giving away what weve accumulated, but in the last week Ive finally gotten rid of the last of it and it feels so good. Ive been thinking about why its been so therapeutic for me and Ive come up with the following (myriad) reasons.

The very obvious, practical reason that this has been so great is that theres so much more space! The fervor to get rid of baby things has also sparked the desire just to get rid of all things and we finally have space in our small townhouse. There are no longer boxes and junk lying around. Our closets arent filled to the brim with things we may or may not ever use, but are instead organized with things we do use. I do so much better in uncluttered space and so fixing my physical surroundings has such a positive affect on me emotionally and psychologically.

Clearing our space and making our home more comfortable is something I can do as a wife and mother to benefit the lives of my family right now. Instead of saving things for children we might have and cluttering up our lives in the meantime, Im taking care of my family right now. And that is so, so good for me. If these losses have taught me anything, its that I must strive to do my best as a wife and mother in every moment, not just prepare for a future in which I will finally be at my best. As Ive mentioned previously, I need to feel useful right now and this is useful.

Giving away our useable items makes me feel useful to others as well. Most of Lucias clothes and many of her baby items have gone to my sister-in-law for my niece, but Ive also been able to bless women from church and random strangers with baby and maternity items they need. It feels so selfish to stockpile them when there are people who need and can use them right now. Giving them up helps me to focus on others and to have perspective. One of the lines I pray every day in the Litany of Humility is "That others may be chosen and I set aside, Jesus, grand me the grace to desire it." This one line never fails to be the one that stands out to me, that targets me especially. Right now, I have not been chosen to carry a child to term. I have been set aside, at least for a time, but I must still use this time to serve the Lord, which I can do by helping those who God has chosen.

Another spiritual fruit of the baby product purge is that it is teaching me to rely more fully on God to provide for my needs. I tend  to hold onto something if it might ever be used again. In that way, I learn to rely on myself to provide for my future. By getting rid of the baby things I not only rely on God to provide us with a living child, but I also rely on Him to provide us with what we would need to raise that child. Its much easier to pray "give us this day our daily bread" and really mean it if you dont have a cupboard full of food to last you days, weeks, or even months. I put much more trust in God when I no longer stockpile for myself and instead give the goods we have to others.

I also realize that when I give away our baby and maternity things, I am helping do Gods work in providing the "daily bread" for other families. When we pray to God to answer our prayers, its much more likely that Hell answer them through other people then by dropping a baby buggy straight from heaven, a miracle I have yet to hear of happening. It is good to prepare yourself financially and be economically frugal, but theres a point where that gets in the way of doing Gods work and starts to become working for yourself. I can no longer justify holding onto baby things for years when I dont need them and there are others that do. I trust that if and when we have another child, others will be generous to us as well, and that well have everything we need.

I started giving away our baby and maternity stock because it was too hard to be surrounded by constant reminders of our failed pregnancies and dissipating dreams. I was shocked to realize just how healing the process was for me. Most of all, it enabled me to imagine a life without more babies. Everyone deals with loss differently and for some it may be more beneficial to always have hope for more children and therefore to continue to hold onto the baby things; but for me, its helpful to be realistic and the truth is that I may or may not have more children. I imagine that statistics are in my favore and that we will most likely have more children through pregnancy or adoption. But I need to be able to acknowledge that theres also a chance that we may not have more children and the odds of that happening are higher for me than for the average woman. I need to build a life and imagine a future that is happy and hopeful and beautiful even if it doesnt include more children for us. So by letting go of this material reminders, we not only give ourselves more space in our home for the things that matter right now, I also give space in my head and my heart to imagine a blessed life as a family of three.





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Senin, 07 Maret 2016

pregnancy weight loss in third trimester | Will you try again Thoughts on another pregnancy after a pregnancy after loss

pregnancy weight loss in third trimester


Recently, weve had several people ask whether we would have try for more children after this pregnancy. None of them were nosy strangers; they were all people who knew about our losses and are generally concerned about our future, know that we have wanted a large family and also the toll that several miscarriages have had on us.

We dont really have a definitive answer at this point. Truly, I dont feel comfortable making that decision now...or ever. I just cant say that well never have more children because we really do try to take it one month at a time. Since this baby isnt even here yet, I have no idea where well be physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially when my cycles return (it took 11 months after Lucia was born, so were looking at somewhere around October 2016 before wed even need to make a decision of any kind). But, it is something we do think about and talk about and so heres where were at right now.

My pregnancy, labor, and delivery were Lucia was incredibly affirming of our desire for a large family. Aside from the normal symptoms of morning sickness in the first trimester and heartburn in the third, I felt wonderful my entire pregnancy. The pregnancy was textbook perfect, without a single complication. The labor and delivery were also complication and intervention free. And I was probably one of the most laid back pregnant women - I never once called my midwives with questions, never worried about my health or the health of the baby, I cant remember ever being anxious or confused or scared about any aspect of pregnancy. After Lucia was born, I was so confident in the ability of my body to create and nurture children and I looked forward to the pregnancies to come and the large family we would have.

That pregnancy was such a gift. I know so many women who have never been able to have that experience. Their first pregnancies ended in miscarriage, or were overshadowed with serious complications or mental health issues, or came after years of infertility struggles which left them with little confidence in their bodies abilities to do what should come naturally.

But early motherhood for me came easy, physically and emotionally. Even after Lucia was here, being a mom seemed natural and I never struggled with my changing roles. I always wanted to be a mother and when I became one, everything about it seemed so intuitive. It all seemed like an affirmation of where my life was going; if motherhood felt so right - physically, emotionally, practically - then didnt it make sense that I would have many children, the chance to replicate these experiences over and over?
________________

My due date for this baby is exactly three weeks shy of four years since my due date with Lucia. We certainly didnt expect our children to be this far apart in age. Many couples wait much longer than we have for a living child. We know that while our path hasnt been easy, it could have been much more difficult and we are grateful for our blessings. But we are also wary for our future.

This pregnancy has been very trying for me. After four miscarriages, the belief that my body knows what its supposed to do, or even that its a safe place for our child, is no longer intact. Physically this pregnancy is much more difficult and I constantly feel worn down and in some form of pain. Its nothing to complain about really, its all within the realm of "normal" for a pregnancy and certainly is worth enduring for my child, but it is another reminder that my body isnt quite so conducive to pregnancy as I once thought. Emotionally, this pregnancy has been strenuous and when I look ahead to future pregnancies, I cant imagine that theyll be much easier. Its tempting to try to assume that a healthy labor, delivery, and baby at the end of this pregnancy will heal much of the pain of the past and make future pregnancies easier, but it seems much more likely that the scars will remain long after this pregnancy.

At this point, the thought of ever getting pregnant again is terrifying. I cannot count the times during this pregnancy, during moments of extreme anxiety, when Ive made my husband promise wed never, ever try to get pregnant again.  Just the thought of trying is panic inducing. Attempting to conceive a child is not an exciting, hope-filled endeavor for us anymore. After all, two-thirds of our children have died, a sobering statistic that sucks the joy out of thoughts of growing our family. We have no way of knowing whether I carried past the first trimester this time because of the surgery that removed endometriosis or whether this was just a random occurrence. Perhaps endometriosis wasnt even the problem in the first place, and the real issue is still there. I have no idea what my chances are for future miscarriages. As anxiety-ridden as it has been, I believe I could probably handle another healthy pregnancy, but Im not entirely sure I could cope with more miscarriages or a complication-riddled pregnancy. I have obligations to care for husband and living children and worry that attempts to expand our family further would prevent me from caring for the family I already have.

Perhaps after this baby is born, our future fertility plans will become more clear. I pray that circumstances may change so that we might still have the large family we always longed for. Im young enough that I have more than a decade of fertility ahead of me, so I assume we will try again at some point. However, because I had endometriosis, which even after surgery has a high chance for coming back (and only gets worse over time), there is a lot of pressure to get pregnant again right away. I dont think well do that and perhaps Ill need to have surgery again later down the road if we decide to try for more children. Perhaps Ill have more miscarriages. Maybe Ill suffer from secondary infertility.

Looking ahead at our future family, we acknowledge that its entirely possible that, for whatever reason, this baby may be our last living child. Its a thought that brings me sadness but, at the same time, a measure of relief. Knowing that, if we find ourselves in the position of needing to, we can avoid pregnancy the rest of our childbearing years is a blessing. Its not a decision we take lightly; we are dedicated to being open to life and not using artificial means to prevent pregnancy and would welcome any surprise children God sent our way, but having that option is something we need to know is available to us. We are blessed in that while NFP has been emotionally draining when trying to conceive and navigate the medical side of miscarriage, its been pretty easy for us to utilize to avoid pregnancy and I wonder if this is not the reason why - because perhaps well need to use it for many, many years.



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