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Tampilkan postingan dengan label ash. Tampilkan semua postingan

Rabu, 30 Maret 2016

weight loss during pregnancy due to morning sickness | Ash Wednesday

weight loss during pregnancy due to morning sickness


I just realized it is Ash Wednesday, not a holiday of significance for me but it is the day I delivered Solomon. March 8, 2000 was also Ash Wednesday. When I delivered him, only Eric and my doctor were in the room with me. When all was done, I remember my nurse returning, she had gone to church on her lunch break. Its curious what gets remembered and when.

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Sabtu, 19 Maret 2016

baby losing weight during teething | Sometimes Life is Just Strange

baby losing weight during teething


Sometimes life is just strange and I find myself giving my head a whack with the back of my hand.

Alison asked about Solomon.  Alison asks a lot of questions and she is not the type of child who is easily pacified.  I often have to ask her to ask me the question again in a few days, when I have had time to think of and formulate a solid answer for her.

She asked how Solomon died.  How do you explain pPROM to a ten-year old?  Somehow I managed an answer.  She knew that when a baby is in a moms tummy, the baby is swimming in water.  I told her this was special fluid that helps the baby breath, like a fish.  I explained how my water came out.  She asked if this is what it means when the water breaks so I know she understands a little of the mechanics.

I told her usually the water breaks when a mommy is 9 months pregnant and the baby is ready to be born.  But in my case, the water came out at 5 months.  And because the water helped Solomon breath and grow, and the water was gone, he died.

She got it.  She totatly seemed to understand, and went on to resume playing.  Go figure.

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Senin, 14 Maret 2016

weight loss during pregnancy diet | The Day of Why

weight loss during pregnancy diet


It is now 8:51pm and I am waiting to exhale. This is always the worst day for me, every year. It is easier, Ill grant you that, than last year and last year was easier than the one before. But I can feel the stress of the day in my body, the tension upon awakening knowing this is "that day."

Solomon would be 9 today if he had lived. And if he had lived, I wonder how he would be. I get so emotional when I see special needs kids, and thank God every day for the normalness my children exhibit.

Today is the only day of the year I give myself permission to ask the whys? Why did this happen to me? Why did this happen to him? Why did this happen to us?

What did I do to deserve this? Technically, not a why question, but something wondered always in the recesses of my mind, my only answer being so I would know what real stress and heartache are, as opposed to the daily stresses and heartaches of every day life.

I just dont think thats a good enough answer.

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Jumat, 19 Februari 2016

baby losing weight during pregnancy | more on the Certificate of Still Birth for NYS

baby losing weight during pregnancy


http://www.nysenate.gov/press-release/senator-kennedy-announces-governor-signs-certificate-still-birth-law
I hope I can get one for Solomon.

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weight loss and gain during pregnancy | Ash Wednesday

weight loss and gain during pregnancy


Today is Ash Wednesday. Not a holiday for me. I meant to post yesterday on Mardi Gras. Thats not a holiday for me either.

What I note about both days is that in 2000, Mardi Gras and Ash Wednesday were March 7 and 8. I delivered Solomon on March 8.

On Mardi Gras, I started the day fantasizing that the doctors were wrong, my dates were wrong and that all the wrongs would make one big right, and I wouldnt be losing my baby. On Ash Wednesday the biggest wrong, me, occurred.

Whenever I see a person with ashes on their forehead, two things come to mind. First is my friend Terry, who always left work at lunchtime, went to the closest Church and returned to the office ashened. The second is losing Solomon. The nurse attending to me had gone on this errand, and sure enough I delivered my baby without her. In the end, it doesnt really matter, she would not have been able to save my child. When she returned and learned I was done, she apologized and helped to clean me up. Those are my Ash Wednesday memories.

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Kamis, 18 Februari 2016

weight loss during pregnancy 2nd trimester | Unforeseen

weight loss during pregnancy 2nd trimester


Unforeseen from TH3Productions on Vimeo.



This video was sent to me out of the blue. It is poignant and timely. I hope you enjoy it.

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