is weight loss during pregnancy dangerous | A Passing Nightmare

is weight loss during pregnancy dangerous

I am home now almost 24 hours after a passing nightmare. Adam has been sick since October 13 and while the initial ailment resolved fairly quickly, a secondary one set in. We went from "check in in the morning if he is still running a fever" to "I have to send you to the ER at the hospital."

Losing Solomon was the hardest thing I ever had to go through. But lying in the hospital chair-bed, next to Adams silently dripping IV, I realized it could not have been. Solomons loss was losing a dream, but the reality that I was here with a sick kid was a living nightmare. The panic took root in my bones, and while we are out of the woods now, my body has not relaxed.

Luckily, whatever was ailing Adam has seemed to pass. He has been fever-free for 72 hours. He is so drugged up for a broad range of possible illness that I know all the bad germs are almost gone. He is eating his restricted diet and will return to school Monday [god willing] on restricted activities.

But he is fine, and he is home.

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weight loss foods during pregnancy | A photo in heaven

weight loss foods during pregnancy

Its hard to know what is the "right" thing to do, especially where death is concerned. I arrived at the Funeral home Thursday July 5 with photos of my children and my grandmother. I guess I should say my living chidren. I did not know what to do regarding Solomon.

My grandmother was at my side through my ordeal losing Solomon, and would hold my hand for months to come whenever we were together. She never spoke of him, taking the lead from me.

I called my husband and asked him to bring a photo of Solomon for my grandmothers coffin. I did not have the photo displayed with the other photos of her great-grandchildren - it would have been too much for me to explain to those who came to comfort us. His picture was in an envelope with instructions to place it with my grandmother when the casket was sealed. And thats what happened.

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weight loss during early pregnancy | Questions

weight loss during early pregnancy

I woke up last Saturday morning with an inkling that this might be the day, the day when Alison or Adam has questions. I mentioned this to Eric who replied, "You say that every year." And that is true. But this year I was right.

Alison accompanied me on this years Walk To Remember - chosing this activity over watching her brother play soccer, or should I say run around the soccer field with a group of 5 year old boys with a soccer ball in the midst.

The walk was proceding and it was a good half hour before Ali said anything. She asked if we could see our page. I knew she meant the scrapbook page I had done for Solomon, so we walked over to it and I showed her. Then she asked if we could see our quilt square. So I walked her over to where the quilt was displayed and showed her. Her first reaction was to ask, "Who was born on March 8?" I told her, "the baby." She asked, naturally, "What baby?" and I told her, "the baby who died in my tummy before you were born." She seemed to take my remarks in and felt satisfied. Until...

Until my friends daughter asked her, "Was the baby who died a girl or a boy?" And Alison in her sweet voice replied, "I have no idea what youre talking about." So I told her the baby was a boy and his name was Solomon, Solomon was the baby who died in my tummy before you were born. Again she took in my remarks and seemed satisfied.

I have no idea what she thinks. She knows a photo of our family adorns a book cover but I dont think she understands why or what the book is about.

I wonder if I handled her questions ok, and appreciate that she didnt ask more than I was willing to answer. For my children, lifes questions will forever go beyond "where do babies come from?"

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weight loss exercise during pregnancy | 8

weight loss exercise during pregnancy

I did not think last week would ever end. Tuesday started with what would have been my grandmothers 90th birthday. I had been mentally planning her party since her 89th birthday.

Saturday was 8 years. 8 years. I cannot believe it. And I had to get through the day without my grandmother. Eric sent Adam over to me to tell me Solomon loves me. Hearing his name come out of Adams mouth was shocking, but brought me to a moments reality during a very cloudy morning.

I was cold all day and tried to avoid writing the date. Stupid me had to write 3 checks and in the moment I wrote it 3/8/08 but wouldnt record it in the checkbook.

I feel guilty that I did not look at Solomons photos, something I always do on his anniversary. Instead, I Eric and I shopped, had lunch and promptly fell asleep from our big meal. By nighttime, Id curled up with a book, Bed Rest, which was pleasant enough. But I stayed up only until it was a respectable hour to go to sleep.

When I woke on Sunday, I felt lighter because I had survived Solomons day, again, without him.

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weight loss during first month pregnancy | This just SUCKS

weight loss during first month pregnancy

About 7:30 this morning my telephone rang. It was my mother. I knew the news could not be good, but I didnt think it would be as bad as it was. My grandmother had died this morning. I dropped the phone and fell silent.

When Eric finished talking to my mom, he held me as I shook and cried. "Why would my mother say such a mean thing?" I asked, not to him directly.

This was one of the days I was always dreading.

Goldie, my grandmother, was one of the lights of my life. To know her was to love her. Always with a smile and a positive attitude, she was very honest and forgiving, two traits I have always tried to have. She always turned away to other peoples flaws and saw the best side of them.

She loved unconditionally, no matter who, no matter what.

When I was losing Solomon, one of the things I wanted the most was her. And she obliged by sitting quietly in the corner of my hospital room. She said nothing, she just let me rant.

When I gave birth to Alison, she was there with my mother. Her first great-grandchild had been born, and a great-granddaughter no less. And when Adam was born, she was right there too. Reveling in the love we felt for the new "little man" in our family. We gave her the honor of Sandek at his bris.

Goldie was a golden light who never wanted anything more than to be surrounded by those she loved most in the world. My life is now darker and will remain so, regardless of the joys that lie ahead.

I miss you grandma.

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fetal weight loss during pregnancy | Mothers Day

fetal weight loss during pregnancy

On my first Mothers Day as a mother, May 2000, I did not have a child. That is, I did not have a living child. Solomon was born and had died a few weeks prior. On this particular day I found myself in the Bahamas, at the luxury resort Atlantis. The scenery was lush and vivid but everything seemed veiled to me. My husband was great, guiding me through the motions of the day, making sure I ate, rested, and took in some of the beach. I felt so out of place. Even though there were no children on our trip, it was a business trip for Eric, I still was disfigured from the pregnancy and birth and felt as if I wanted to die.

Today, 7 years later, is different. The world is awash in color, and I could take in the smell of Alisons hair and notice the red ruddiness of Adams scraped news.

Happy Mothers Day Solomon.

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weight loss during pregnancy is it normal | Mothers Day then and now

weight loss during pregnancy is it normal

Another Mothers Day. Six years ago, after losing Solomon, my husband and I went on a trip to Atlantis in the Bahamas. I always considered that my consolation prize." Instead of attending the black-tie ball in a maternity gown, I was there stuffed into a size 2 number with a blubber belly from the pregnancy. I hated myself and almost everyone else. I didnt have too much fun on the trip, there was an emptiness inside of me that no amount of sunshine, pampering and food (really good food) could fill. I hadnt yet begun to think of myself as a childless mother, but I did define myself as a mother whose child had died. My husband gave me a gold little boy charm which Id had engraved Solomon 5/8/00. Friends looked at me oddly when I showed them. So many folks were clueless and I didnt have the words or energy to explain.

I had braids put in my hair ocean-side, sitting in the hot sun. It hurt a lot but I somehow felt I deserved it, that I deserved to suffer. I did everything in power to protect Solomon and in the end nothing mattered, he was lost.

And today, with Alison and Adam running around - gosh, its just so different. Im their mother, they have no one else and hopefully never will. The sun rises and sets with them. I hope they never feel Im needy of them, even though I am.

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weight loss and gain during pregnancy | Ash Wednesday

weight loss and gain during pregnancy

Today is Ash Wednesday. Not a holiday for me. I meant to post yesterday on Mardi Gras. Thats not a holiday for me either.

What I note about both days is that in 2000, Mardi Gras and Ash Wednesday were March 7 and 8. I delivered Solomon on March 8.

On Mardi Gras, I started the day fantasizing that the doctors were wrong, my dates were wrong and that all the wrongs would make one big right, and I wouldnt be losing my baby. On Ash Wednesday the biggest wrong, me, occurred.

Whenever I see a person with ashes on their forehead, two things come to mind. First is my friend Terry, who always left work at lunchtime, went to the closest Church and returned to the office ashened. The second is losing Solomon. The nurse attending to me had gone on this errand, and sure enough I delivered my baby without her. In the end, it doesnt really matter, she would not have been able to save my child. When she returned and learned I was done, she apologized and helped to clean me up. Those are my Ash Wednesday memories.

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