weight loss during pregnancy due to healthy eating | Passover 2009

weight loss during pregnancy due to healthy eating

Tomorrow I will host my first seder as Erics wife, in our home. It is 2009.

The first seder we spent as a married couple I was in mourning. I will forever have my mother-in-laws face imprinted in my memory from when we arrived at her sisters house for Passover. I know it was a look of concern, but what I felt (and still do on occasion) is FAILURE. I ran to the bathroom and just burst into tears.

"Next year in maternity clothes" was what I uttered when everyone else state strongly, "next year in Jerusalem."

And here I am hosting my first seder. Solomon is missing. My grandmother in missing. I will lay the table with our glass dishes and my grandmothers kiddush cup for Elijah. I will engage Alison and Adam (hopefully) in the seder. Hopefully I will make things easier for my family, my parents especially.

The holiday of Passover is about freedom. Those who grieve are never really free from it.

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continuous weight loss during pregnancy | Communion

continuous weight loss during pregnancy

Yesterday was Rebeccas communion. It was really great to share the day with my best friend and her family. I looked at a photo album from Rebeccas baptism and saw Solomons mom. Rebecca and Solomon were supposed to be born within days of each other. Rebecca and Solomon were supposed to be friends.

In the photo album is the "after" Amy - the one who lost Solomon. I am smiling because I am so thrilled for my friend. I am smiling because I am pregnant AGAIN. That baby wouldnt arrive either, but I didnt know that then.

I still have the outfit I wore to Rebeccas baptism and toyed with wearing it yesterday. How ironic that would have been if I did.

Miss you S.

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zumba pregnancy weight lose | Surprising Moment

zumba pregnancy weight lose

So I am gainfully employed for a bit, part-time and temporary through mid-August. I like my work, the environment, my co-workers and especially my supervisor whom I call "boss lady." This woman really could have been a grief counselor as she is a really great teacher, patient and calm, and an overall wonderful person.

I am at work and reviewing some forms...hey its not too exciting but its my job. And I see the name of a child. This child is a girl, this child is in 6th grade in our school District and I know this childs mom from my former life - the one before - the one where I also worked but the one where people knew me before I lost Solomon.

As soon as I see this childs name my heart skips a beat. I remember when this child was born, a few weeks after Solomon. I remember thinking how this child and Solomon would be in school together because this childs mom was one of the many whom I knew was pregnant with me. Then the obvious comes to the surface, no, Solomon will never be in school.

I had to stop what I was doing and just remind myself to breath. It was harder than I thought but I managed to get through the moment. But still I just wish sometimes there werent moments I had to get through in the first place. You know?

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zumba for post pregnancy weight loss | Always a bridesmaid

zumba for post pregnancy weight loss

Today the Certificate of Stillbirth applications are available.  This was a long road for so many and I am happy for those who will be able to obtain one.  Sadly, it is not looking likely that I will.  Because I was not at that magical "20 week" mark, and only a mere 19 weeks 6 days, Solomon was not turned over to a funeral director for burial.  The application asks for this information.  Yet again my experience going through childbirth is not acknowledged.

Regardless, here are two sites you can obtain the information from:
http://www.danielsstar.org/03212012%20NYC%20instructions.html
http://www.angelnames.org/

Good luck.

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baby losing weight during pregnancy | more on the Certificate of Still Birth for NYS

baby losing weight during pregnancy

http://www.nysenate.gov/press-release/senator-kennedy-announces-governor-signs-certificate-still-birth-law
I hope I can get one for Solomon.

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