weight loss during pregnancy forum | The day my husband forbids me to mention

weight loss during pregnancy forum

Today is the day my husband forbids me to mention. Maybe not forbids, but he has let me know in no uncertain terms, not to bring it up.

Today is the day that my first child was supposed to be born. Based on my recording keeping and the calculated dates of ovulation, conception and sonogram-dating, every date came to the conclusion July 28th was the BIG DAY. Eric feels theres no point recalling this day, since we dont recall the due dates of Alison and Adam. I of course argue his point. We do mention Alisons due date because it was my mothers birthday and theres not much to say about Adams since it was pretty much on his birthday. His dates were always off but I firmly believe he was due March 29 but I couldnt have a scheduled C on Saturday so Friday March 28th it was.

When July 28, 2000 came, I was in a hotel in Washington DC, fantasizing Room Service would deliver a baby to me, sobbing in Erics arms, and listening to the very last broadcast of Regis and KathyLee - a program I had never watched. It was a horrible day for me and thinking back I can remember the rawness I felt, as if someone stripped by skin and I was just a bunch of bones with a broken heart.

Today in 2007, Im not much happier. Oh there have been joyous times, and there will continue to be. But I am still deeply saddened by my grandmothers death on July 4th and Im feeling a lot of that rawness today. At least I have my children, whove been extremely tolerant of their moody mommy.

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weight loss during early pregnancy without morning sickness | The Day Before

weight loss during early pregnancy without morning sickness

I remember this day, August 13, 2001, quite clearly. Actually, the evening.

I had a routine OB appointment. I was humongous, strapped to the monitor. I looked like a whale. Eric took a photo for posterity. We had just received our first digital camera and this was the test shot.

Dr. E. proceeded to tell me everything was fine. Yes, everything pregnancy-wise was. But I was a nervous wreck. I had spent the prior 37 weeks and 6 days alternating between fear of never having a living child and denial that I was even pregnant.

I asked Dr. E. about an early delivery. The thought of two more weeks felt like two more years. He uttered magic words, "if you wake up tomorrow and you feel the baby is moving less, call the office and we will get you delivered."

Thats all it took. And my journey of grief was ending.

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weight loss during pregnancy due to morning sickness | Ash Wednesday

weight loss during pregnancy due to morning sickness

I just realized it is Ash Wednesday, not a holiday of significance for me but it is the day I delivered Solomon. March 8, 2000 was also Ash Wednesday. When I delivered him, only Eric and my doctor were in the room with me. When all was done, I remember my nurse returning, she had gone to church on her lunch break. Its curious what gets remembered and when.

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weight loss during pregnancy diet | The Day of Why

weight loss during pregnancy diet

It is now 8:51pm and I am waiting to exhale. This is always the worst day for me, every year. It is easier, Ill grant you that, than last year and last year was easier than the one before. But I can feel the stress of the day in my body, the tension upon awakening knowing this is "that day."

Solomon would be 9 today if he had lived. And if he had lived, I wonder how he would be. I get so emotional when I see special needs kids, and thank God every day for the normalness my children exhibit.

Today is the only day of the year I give myself permission to ask the whys? Why did this happen to me? Why did this happen to him? Why did this happen to us?

What did I do to deserve this? Technically, not a why question, but something wondered always in the recesses of my mind, my only answer being so I would know what real stress and heartache are, as opposed to the daily stresses and heartaches of every day life.

I just dont think thats a good enough answer.

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