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Rabu, 13 April 2016

kate hudson pregnant weight loss | Im a wreck

kate hudson pregnant weight loss


I really, really want to be able to write an inspiring post about how to remain calm or have hope or whatever during a pregnancy after loss. But instead, Im in what is probably one of the deepest, darkest places Ive ever been. Ive been bleeding off and on all week, mostly pretty light but it picks up as my activity picks up. Im a terrible, horrible wreck about it all in a way I thought I would never be. I am currently laying in bed in some of the most wretched pain Ive ever been in, completely caused by stress. Ive always felt pain in my neck and shoulders when stressed but never like this. The throbbing is overwhelming, to the point where I cant move or function, and its making me incredibly nauseous.

I dont really know what to do about it. Usually the best way I manage stress is by exercising but any time Ive managed even the most light of exercise, the bleeding has increased and I imagine thats not a good thing.  My next ultrasound is a week away and I just dont know how Ill survive until then. The stress and fear is making me physically so sick and unable to function. I cant take care of myself and I cant take care of Lucia. Im losing weight and cant sleep.  The anxiety is eating away at me.

This isnt like me at all - Ive never been a worrier in the least but Ive noticed becoming increasingly paranoid as the miscarriage count has increased and I wonder if I miscarry if were just done. I am not sure if I could do this to myself or my family again. Ive always said we wont avoid pregnancy as long as Im physically and mentally healthy enough to undergo another pregnancy and miscarriage, and I think this might be the straw that breaks the camels back (or the miscarriage that breaks my mental sanity, as it were). We are also woefully without a support system of people here who will help watch Lucia, bring us meals, or even friends and family (near or far) that will call me regularly to check on me. Its getting to be way too much to bear on our own. The financial strain ($500/month for injection not covered by instance that Im not wholly convinced do a darn thing) is also getting to be too much. And for the first time in my miscarriage journey, I feel angry at God  - for not only allowing me to be in this position but for not providing me with any comfort.

Ive read about some studies that say that "tender loving care" has as much of a positive outcome for women whove had multiple miscarriages as any medical treatments. Providing support and keeping the mother calm and positive about the pregnancy gave her much better odds of carrying to term. Well, if my baby had a good chance before I started bleeding, he/she probably has none now.

I feel incredibly hopeless and helpless and physically miserably right now. And there isnt a thing in this world that can help. If we see an empty sac again on Friday, I know Ill be fine. I can handle another miscarriage. I think I could have handled the time so far had I not started bleeding. But now that Ive had problems with this pregnancy and a bunch of miscarriages behind me, I just dont know how I could handle another 7-8 months of pregnancy. How can my family survive that long without me being functional for them? I just dont even want to think about it. 




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Jumat, 18 Maret 2016

weight loss last trimester pregnancy | What is Good What is Difficult

weight loss last trimester pregnancy


Hallie Lord wrote this piece a few days ago saying its ok to when you have mixed feelings about pregnancy. What bravery it can take to admit within Catholic, pro-life circles that each new baby is not immediately met with joy and nothing but joy. This adds another valuable piece to the discussion on pregnancy started recently by this article discussing the importance of acknowledging the struggles of pregnancy.

Perhaps the question that most deeply reaches the root of these issues is Why are we afraid to admit that things that are the most good are often also the most difficult? It seems almost obvious that anything truly good would require sacrifice; Satan certainly does not want us to do what is good and therefore will confound our efforts in every way. Things that are bad, well, those seems to be so easy. For a reason. Dont underestimate the enemy. He is cunning. This world has been corrupted so that sin easily flourishes and those who do the will of God have an uphill battle.

I worry that some Christians hope to share the faith by portraying it as a pathway to obtaining your hearts desires. If only you follow, Christ, they say, you will be happy! All the time! Life will be easy. Prayer and true faith will wipe away all your burdens. We have to be careful to acknowledge that while Christ is the source of joy, we are not promised earthly happiness or a lack of suffering. We have only to look at the lives of the Saints for confirmation of this. There are Saints who suffered painful diseases, the murder of spouses, the death of young children, rape, abusive marriages, and torturous deaths. If those men, women, and children, the exalted examples of faithfulness, experienced such suffering then surely Christian faith is not some magic charm that repels all bad that might befall us. I cannot imagine the Saints in their midst of their suffering would be described as "happy" in the earthly sense, but joy - oh they exuded the joy of Christ even then!

Many people ask what we need to do to attract young people to the faith. The answer is not to make faith fit effortlessly into their lives by making it easy. I drive by a church with a sign that proudly proclaims, "Like to sleep in on the weekends? We make church convenient for you!" People arent looking for a faith that is convenient so they can go on living their lives exactly the same. They are looking for a faith that radically changes their lives and challenges them. Young people are searching for something and an easy religion that asks nothing of them doesnt fulfill that longing. They are not looking for a "safe faith". Christ said, "Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me." A tall order, but how can we do great things of great things are not asked of us?

"Safe?" said Mr Beaver ..."Who said anything about safe? Course he isnt safe. But hes good. Hes the King, I tell you.”-C.S. Lewis, The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe 


It is not love to only share part of the Gospel, the sanitized, safe little story of a God who loves us and wants us to be happy. We must authentically share the faith and in order to do so, we much acknowledge that with the joy of Christ also comes our individual crosses, some of them quite heavy. How much more powerful is it to share the stories of Christians who have suffered greatly, even died for their faith, but loved God so much through it all, than a story of a perfect little life in which Christianity was easy. Im apt to believe that the early Christians flocked to the faith because they saw how powerful it was - people were ripped to shreds by lions in the arena for their Christian faith, and with a smile on their faces and songs on their lips! If they were looking for something safe and easy, Christianity would have been the last thing they would have chosen. They werent looking for easy, but for Truth! How ineffective in comparison is a faith practiced by those who are blessed all their lives. That god seems nothing more than a genie, a wish-granter. How easy it must be to love a sweet, kind god who makes your life perfect! Theres an appeal there, of course, but since all of us will experiencing some suffering in our lives, its easy to lose a faith based on a god who grants earthly happiness to his faithful. That is a faith built on straw, with no basis in the scriptures. Instead, we must teach a faith built on rock.

In our faith, the faith built on Peter, Christs rock, human life is greatly valued. A new pregnancy and a new child are always good. But not always easy. There is no reason for guilt in acknowledging that. In fact, by doing so, we are elevating human life even more - how valuable is a new life that we are willing to endure great hardship to bear it! Therein lies a truth that our Catholic ancestors knew quite well and embraced much better than we do today, that Christian life is demanding and that those very demands are what set us apart and demonstrate to those around us the greatness of our God.






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Kamis, 03 Maret 2016

pregnancy ke baad weight loss | All is Well

pregnancy ke baad weight loss


I made this blog private a while back because anxiety was really getting to me. And any kind of online/social media anything just makes it so much worse. But, Ive had a few ultrasounds and everything is going well and Im starting to feel less panicky and more, well, pregnant. So here I am.

I dont have anything profound to say, but many people have been asking how Im doing, so this is just an update. My bleeding stopped a few weeks ago and other than a brief episode of light bleeding and cramping earlier this week, it seems like thats no longer anything to worry about. Ive been having all the normal pregnancy symptoms, which I am very thankful for though I certainly wouldnt mind if they were a little less extreme.  Nausea is a wonderful reminder that all is going well but throwing up many times per day doesnt seem necessary. 

Im curious whether the nausea is so bad because Im taking hCG shots and its thought the hormone hCG is what causes morning sickness (so obviously, shooting up with additional amounts of it would seem to have that effect). Though I tend to be in the camp that attributes morning sickness to magnesium and/or other vitamin or mineral deficiencies, in which case it would make perfect sense that Id be depleted given the five pregnancies in less than two years thing. I certainly feel like so many pregnancies, no matter how short, and postpartum periods in such a short time have left me a little disadvantaged. And I got pregnant a week after surgery, which probably took its toll too.

My most recent ultrasound was on Wednesday and we saw a baby with a heartbeat waving around little arms and legs. So it seems like all is going well and its a pretty typical pregnancy. It doesnt feel like a typical pregnancy after four losses, though I doubt any pregnancy will ever feel typical again, but its just kind of surreal. To everyone else, it seems like Im just having this normal pregnancy, and for me its just so, so scary and strange and not normal. Im the most pregnant Ive been without miscarrying (since my daughter who was born at 41 weeks 1 days, so I have a long time before Im the most pregnant Ive ever been). Thankfully, it seems like the longer this pregnancy goes, the less anxious I get (though just incrementally less) and the more it starts to feel normal.

Oh, I guess I do have a bit of big news. Were moving back to Colorado in less than two months. It was a tough decision to make but we ultimately decided that we want to be back near family sooner rather than later.  The past few years have been tough without family to help us and I expect it will only get harder as we (hopefully) have more children or (hopefully not) have more miscarriages. The upcoming move has certainly given us something to focus on to get my mind of pregnancy concerns all day every day. (Instead I worry about David not finding a job! Which, while scary and stressful, is not nearly as scary and stressful as worrying about miscarrying again.) So, if you dont already have enough to pray about and youd like to pray for our pregnancy and baby AND that David find a job, Id be so very grateful.

Unrelated, but what I would like to be doing right now.


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Sabtu, 27 Februari 2016

post pregnancy weight loss challenge | New Dr Oz Magazine The Good Life

post pregnancy weight loss challenge


While browsing the bookstore the other day, I happened upon a new magazine by Dr. Oz, The Good Life.  Of course I picked up a copy and, so far, I really like it!  If you arent familiar with Dr. Oz, hes a heart surgeon and professor who became popular as a regular guest on Oprah and now has his own show, although he still practices medicine.  His credentials are stellar, but what most people love about him is how he puts health lessons into terms we can understand and implement in our own lives.


The first issue has great information about multivitamins


what Dr. Oz is eating now . . .


exercises for a tighter booty. . .


and how to lose 10 pounds in 4 weeks.


You can order The Good Life HERE and it also comes in a Kindle edition.

Oxygen is my other go-to magazine for fitness inspiration.  I keep all old copies as references for exercises and recipes.  You can order it HERE.



Muscle & Fitness Hers is also really good and is pretty inexpensive for a subscription ($1.66 per issue). You can order it HERE.


Do you read fitness magazines?  Which ones?  If you picked up Dr. Oz magazine, what did you think of it?

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