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Minggu, 10 April 2016

weight loss during pregnancy hormones | Pet Insurance

weight loss during pregnancy hormones


Exactly 20 years ago today I became a cat-mom. A black domestic short haired cat with white paws adopted me from the North Shore Animal League. I named her Sushi. It was the first time I had every experienced the proverbial love-at-first-site.

Sushi and I would go on to adopt two other cats: Baby, a gray domestic short hair and DaisyMay, a marmalade beauty -or what my English friends call, a ginger cat.

Today I am cat-less. Baby left this earth exactly 10 days before Alison was born. She was 11 and her death wrought havoc on my world already saturated with the loss of my son Solomon.

Sushi would die 10 days before my 39th birthday. Her death hit me like a ton of bricks. Sushi had been with me since college. She lived through my first marriage and divorce, my pursuing my Masters degree, the building of my career, my remarriage and the loss of Solomon. She and I had a deal: she would live until I turned 40. She tried. As she was dying in my arms she licked my fingers as if to say goodbye. She was 18 years and 4 months old.

On October 12, 2006 my DaisyMay passed. And while there is no "10 day" coincidence in her death, she died 19 days prior to her 16th birthday. My sweetheart of a cat who was finally comfortable with all the love my son Adam could heap on her.

Exactly 24 hours later, upon fetching my mail from its box, I received what I could only a slap in the face: a brochure from the ASPCA asking me to sign up for pet insurance. I sat and stared and thought of the irony of receiving this while in the midst of my grief...and thought of the times Id received baby advertisements after losing Solomon. The feelings were so much the same: anger, sadness and defeat. I couldnt understand why, and still cannot.

In six years time I have mourned the loss of my son Solomon, another miscarriage and the deaths of my cats. I have also celebrated the birth of my children. Im hoping the next six years are more even-keeled.

Tonight I lit my candles in honor of Solomon, his brother Baby Z and my cats...all in the name of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness day. My cats made me a mother, my children make me a parent. I love them all.

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Minggu, 03 April 2016

weight loss during end of pregnancy | Ralph

weight loss during end of pregnancy


I saw Ralph last Saturday at Mike and Maries holiday party. I havent seen him in two years, not since the last time Eric and I were able to be at M&Ms holiday party. Ralph is a friend of my husband, they used to work for the same company, and Ralph lives a mere seven minutes from our house (not that we ever see him!)

What distinguishes Ralph to me is that he knew me during my happiest time and through my saddest, a span of only three years. When I met Ralph, we hit it off right away - he was a good buddy of Erics and through lots of fun times, parties and outings, we had a blast. Were even the same sign, Capricorn, but dont ask me what that might have to do with anything.

After Solomon, I was a different person. And somehow Ralph gave me laughs two and three. It sounds funny to write it like that but thats how it was.

At Atlantis in the Bahamas, I spent a miserable week. This was Erics company trip and he worked really hard to earn it. I was devastated as Id planned to be pregnant, nearly 8 months so and here I was, nothing. One night we were at one of the club with Ralph, Mike, Marie and some others. All of a sudden, Ralph starts rapping to a Madonna song, I forget which one. The hilarity of the situation is hard to capture. Ralph was a 40-ish, short, Italian, divorced-with-no-children, guy from Queens. He did not fit any mold of any rapper anywhere on the planet. The joy I felt at laughing in relief could be measured on the Richter scale. That was laugh #2.

Of course I was pregnant for the third time in January 2001, dreading what would happen in the future. Eric convinced me we should go away for a ski weekend, in which I wouldnt ski, go snow-mobiling, drink or sit in the hot tub. So I read a book, White Oleander by Janet Fitch, and an issue of "O" - the magazine Oprah Winfrey puts out. Ralph, Mike and Marie and assorted brothers, brothers-in-laws and friends of Mike and Ralphs were also at the cabin. I forgot which meal it was, we were all gathered around. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. All of a sudden, Ralph starts to sink. Now mind you he is already sitting in a chair at the dinner table and seems to be moving south involuntarily. Turns out, the chair rail started to deteriorate right before everyones eyes. We were all a ball of hysterics, even me. When Ralph finally emerged from the floor, you could tell he thought this was just the funniest thing.

We spoke about Ralphs chair incident on Saturday, and Ive been meaning to post since then. When I think back to the dark time, its hard to remember that there were glimpses of light. And Ralph is someone whom I lease expected to be the light-giver.

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Rabu, 30 Maret 2016

weight loss exercise during pregnancy | 8

weight loss exercise during pregnancy


I did not think last week would ever end. Tuesday started with what would have been my grandmothers 90th birthday. I had been mentally planning her party since her 89th birthday.

Saturday was 8 years. 8 years. I cannot believe it. And I had to get through the day without my grandmother. Eric sent Adam over to me to tell me Solomon loves me. Hearing his name come out of Adams mouth was shocking, but brought me to a moments reality during a very cloudy morning.

I was cold all day and tried to avoid writing the date. Stupid me had to write 3 checks and in the moment I wrote it 3/8/08 but wouldnt record it in the checkbook.

I feel guilty that I did not look at Solomons photos, something I always do on his anniversary. Instead, I Eric and I shopped, had lunch and promptly fell asleep from our big meal. By nighttime, Id curled up with a book, Bed Rest, which was pleasant enough. But I stayed up only until it was a respectable hour to go to sleep.

When I woke on Sunday, I felt lighter because I had survived Solomons day, again, without him.

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Rabu, 02 Maret 2016

baby losing weight in first 2 weeks | This Years Walk

baby losing weight in first 2 weeks


Ive already received email and snail mail announcements for this years Walk to Remember sponsored by Winthrop University Hospital. I spoke with Patti, and we really both have mixed feelings about participating.

Yes, the boulder of grief has been chipped away from my heart and I dont actively mourn Solomon anymore. But on the other hand, I know what comfort I got in the early months from those who had also "been there" and I always feel the need to "give back." At least I dont have to decide today.

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