weight loss during pregnancy due to healthy eating | Passover 2009

weight loss during pregnancy due to healthy eating

Tomorrow I will host my first seder as Erics wife, in our home. It is 2009.

The first seder we spent as a married couple I was in mourning. I will forever have my mother-in-laws face imprinted in my memory from when we arrived at her sisters house for Passover. I know it was a look of concern, but what I felt (and still do on occasion) is FAILURE. I ran to the bathroom and just burst into tears.

"Next year in maternity clothes" was what I uttered when everyone else state strongly, "next year in Jerusalem."

And here I am hosting my first seder. Solomon is missing. My grandmother in missing. I will lay the table with our glass dishes and my grandmothers kiddush cup for Elijah. I will engage Alison and Adam (hopefully) in the seder. Hopefully I will make things easier for my family, my parents especially.

The holiday of Passover is about freedom. Those who grieve are never really free from it.

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weight loss during early pregnancy | Questions

weight loss during early pregnancy

I woke up last Saturday morning with an inkling that this might be the day, the day when Alison or Adam has questions. I mentioned this to Eric who replied, "You say that every year." And that is true. But this year I was right.

Alison accompanied me on this years Walk To Remember - chosing this activity over watching her brother play soccer, or should I say run around the soccer field with a group of 5 year old boys with a soccer ball in the midst.

The walk was proceding and it was a good half hour before Ali said anything. She asked if we could see our page. I knew she meant the scrapbook page I had done for Solomon, so we walked over to it and I showed her. Then she asked if we could see our quilt square. So I walked her over to where the quilt was displayed and showed her. Her first reaction was to ask, "Who was born on March 8?" I told her, "the baby." She asked, naturally, "What baby?" and I told her, "the baby who died in my tummy before you were born." She seemed to take my remarks in and felt satisfied. Until...

Until my friends daughter asked her, "Was the baby who died a girl or a boy?" And Alison in her sweet voice replied, "I have no idea what youre talking about." So I told her the baby was a boy and his name was Solomon, Solomon was the baby who died in my tummy before you were born. Again she took in my remarks and seemed satisfied.

I have no idea what she thinks. She knows a photo of our family adorns a book cover but I dont think she understands why or what the book is about.

I wonder if I handled her questions ok, and appreciate that she didnt ask more than I was willing to answer. For my children, lifes questions will forever go beyond "where do babies come from?"

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continuous weight loss during pregnancy | Communion

continuous weight loss during pregnancy

Yesterday was Rebeccas communion. It was really great to share the day with my best friend and her family. I looked at a photo album from Rebeccas baptism and saw Solomons mom. Rebecca and Solomon were supposed to be born within days of each other. Rebecca and Solomon were supposed to be friends.

In the photo album is the "after" Amy - the one who lost Solomon. I am smiling because I am so thrilled for my friend. I am smiling because I am pregnant AGAIN. That baby wouldnt arrive either, but I didnt know that then.

I still have the outfit I wore to Rebeccas baptism and toyed with wearing it yesterday. How ironic that would have been if I did.

Miss you S.

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best weight loss during pregnancy | Anger

best weight loss during pregnancy

I thought losing Solomon would protect me from other ills. I thought he was the loss leader - that by losing him I would have no more sadness. Needless to say Im wrong.

Without going into details I find myself faced with increasing sadness of an inevitability. And it angers me. And it scares me to be angry again. Anger is the hardest emotion for me to let go of. It is not appeased by food or drink or shopping or exercise. There is no antidote to anger the way crying is to sadness.

So now I face myself struggling to keep the lid on my anger when all I really want to do is scream.

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post pregnancy weight loss videos | Measuring Big A Baby Update

post pregnancy weight loss videos

29 weeks, measuring 36 weeks according to fundal height

I mentioned in my last pregnancy post that I was measuring big and that my OB wanted to follow up with an ultrasound to see what was going on. Thankfully I passed my glucose test, but my follow-up ultrasound showed that I am continuing to get bigger than what is considered normal.

According to Fridays ultrasound, the baby is measuring 3lb 4oz and approximately 32 weeks. I should only be 29 weeks. Measurements can be wrong and babies (especially second babies) can be big. But my fundal height jumped from 30cm (two weeks ago) to 36cm on Friday. In theory, the fundal height should correspond with the number of weeks in your pregnancy. If Im 29 weeks, I should be close to 29cm, not 36cm.

So what does that mean? In addition to a big baby, the ultrasound showed that I have too much amniotic fluid with this pregnancy. Too much amniotic fluid can cause a slew of problems. If you want to know more, you can read this article on the March of Dimes website about Polyhydramnios. Thankfully the ultrasound showed a perfectly normal baby, but we are going to see a high-risk OB this week to see what she thinks. In the meantime, we are focusing on not worrying until we have a chance to get an opinion from the high-risk doctor. 

The good news is that the extra amniotic fluid explains a lot about this particular pregnancy. Around 23 weeks, I felt like I was suddenly huge and started having a lot of issues that I didnt remember with Jack. There have been constant Braxton Hicks contractions, I started to struggle with putting my shoes on much sooner, I have had ongoing light headedness and shortness of breath, extreme heartburn (worse than with Jack), an inability to eat much in a single setting, pain in my chest, and my belly would ache from the extra weight any time I lay on my side. All of this can be explained by the extra fluid putting pressure on all of my organs and lungs.

The other night Daniel and I went to the movies and I happened to time my Braxton Hicks contractions. I had 15 of them that lasted 15-20 seconds each over the course of a 2-hour period. Thankfully they arent painful, but definitely not fun either. My sister (a labor and delivery nurse) tells me that I am in for a lot of the same for the rest of this pregnancy due to the extra amniotic fluid, and that I dont need to worry about pre-term labor until the contractions are 40+seconds each and occurring 6 or more times in an hour.

To be clear, I have not officially been diagnosed with Polyhydramnios (just extra amniotic fluid) and I do not currently have any restrictions. My plan is to continue working out (with my doctors blessing) until I have a medical reason to stop. We will find out more at the high-risk OB and are praying for the best.

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weight loss after pregnancy yahoo answers | October 15 National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remebrance Day

weight loss after pregnancy yahoo answers

Feeling it today.  Actually was feeling it the other day.  Were invited to a friends sons Bar Mitzvah next month.  Another friend had her sons bar mitzvah a few months ago.  This was supposed to be the year of Solomons bar mitzvah, he was supposed to be friends with these two boys.  According to Eric, he is an angel on their shoulders.  Very surprised Eric would say something like this - I hope its true.

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baby losing weight during cold | 11 years

baby losing weight during cold

I know its not significant in any way but yesterday, Thanksgiving, was eleven years from when I was with my family keeping our big secret, we were pregnant. I see the photos of my with a goofy grin and I just get nauseated. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday but yesterday was just rough for me since it was the same date as it was in 1999. Stupid I know but I cant help it sometimes.

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yoga after pregnancy weight loss | Nothingness

yoga after pregnancy weight loss

March 7, 2000 was the day of nothingness.  There really is no other word to describe the feeling.  It would be my second full day in the hospital.  It was a day of waiting.  People were celebrating Mardi Gras.  Eric never left my side. 

From what I can recall, I had visitors: my mom and dad, my grandma and my friend Terry.  The only image that erases the fraught look Terry had visiting me that day is the look on her face when she held Alison for the first time seventeen months later.

My grandmother sat quietly in the chair near my window.  She was resigned to my fate.  I probably was too.  There were so many mixed emotions.  While I prayed for a miracle, I also prayed for this trauma to be over.  I could not foresee what tumult the next day would bring for me, Eric and our marriage.

This day of nothingness also brought a Rabbi, upon my request, to my side.  I wish today I could recall his words and Im sure somewhere else Ive written about them.  They will probably come back to me when I least expect them to.

Some days are harder than others.

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baby weight lose videos | Why I Continue to Exercise While Pregnant

baby weight lose videos

Jack is three and with that we are in the "Why?" and "What did you say?" stage. This stage is fascinating, but really stretches me as I strive to explain the world in a truthful way, but also in a way that his 3-year-old mind can grasp. And there comes a point in every day where the questions become a bit mind-numbing.

In addition, his "whats?" can become aggravating. Its more that he is not really listening to the answer as opposed to really wanting to know. After two or three rounds of repeating "What did you say, mommy?" regarding the same topic, I typically I ask him to repeat what I said back to me. He always knows. I started doing this to make sure he wasnt having hearing problems. Anyways, at some point every day these conversations really start to eat away at my patience.

As I become more and more obviously pregnant, I have had a lot of people (friends, acquaintances, people I just met), ask me about why I am still exercising. Most moms I know tell me that they just gave up and wanted to lay on the couch after 6 months (which is cool, everybody is different and have different ways of getting through their pregnancy experiences). And some people make a big deal out of the exercise. It is a weird place to be. 

With my last pregnancy, I lived in a smaller town, knew less people, exercised with a smaller group of those people, and had a lot less explaining to do. Trying to quickly explain the "why" of my exercise habits to a new group of people feels challenging at times. I have been thinking about this topic a lot and it really boils down to three main reasons as to why I keep at it...

1. Even though it is getting harder to do, I always feel better when I exercise. The exercise brings aches and pains, but it also provides endorphins, keeps my blood pressure and heart rate low, and helps with some of the uncomfortable things that pregnancy brings like constipation, heart burn, and weight gain. If Im going to feel bad no matter what, I would rather exercise.
2. Exercise is my personal Mommy Time Out. Per my thoughts above regarding Jack and all of the questions, my workouts give me a break from the "whys?" and the "whats?" For 60 minutes I get to be just another human being with no responsibilities except to myself. Exercise resets my patience and I always leave with a better attitude and therefore am a better mom because of it. Also, I have met some great people through my workout classes and forged some really wonderful friendships.
3. and finally... I exercised until the day Jack was born and I truly believe that being fit allowed me to have a natural delivery. I had a lot of complications during my labor with him and I really think that if I hadnt been in such good shape, I would have ended up having a C-Section. Knowing that motivates me to stay fit with this pregnancy as well.
   

I dont know how this pregnancy is going to pan out. It has been a lot harder this time around. Maybe because Im 34 instead of 30. Maybe just because its a harder pregnancy. Maybe Im having a girl??? (we still dont know). I see the high-risk OB this afternoon and for all I know, they may put me on bed rest, but until that time comes I will be at the gym 4x a week, sweating and making sure Im as healthy as I can be until this baby arrives. Seriously, having a 60-minute break for "me" is totally worth it.

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baby losing weight in first 2 weeks | This Years Walk

baby losing weight in first 2 weeks

Ive already received email and snail mail announcements for this years Walk to Remember sponsored by Winthrop University Hospital. I spoke with Patti, and we really both have mixed feelings about participating.

Yes, the boulder of grief has been chipped away from my heart and I dont actively mourn Solomon anymore. But on the other hand, I know what comfort I got in the early months from those who had also "been there" and I always feel the need to "give back." At least I dont have to decide today.

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baby losing weight while teething | Twelve Years

baby losing weight while teething

This year has brought its share of difficulties. A miscarriage. Potty training a toddler. Daniel working longer hours than either of us like. 

In the midst of those harder days I have been thinking back to when we were first dating. As a starry-eyed young couple in love, we never considered the hard things the future might hold.

Daniel and I started dating in college. We were both 20. Many of our dates were spent laying under the stars sharing our hopes and dreams with each other. 

Never once during those conversations did we discuss the possibility of moving to new places where we didnt know anyone, family problems, hospital stays, unemployment, living in 2 different states (Daniel in TN and me in NC for 5 months),  living in a camper, living in hotels, miscarriage, working extremely long hours, or the myriad number of difficult things you go through as you grow up and navigate married life. We had no idea what the future held.

Maybe the reason you dont consider the hard experiences that lie ahead is that no one would ever move forward with their lives if they knew how challenging it might be. If you really knew the difficulties, would you have enough trust in your partner to wade those deep waters together? I think marriage is about literally taking the plunge into the unknown and holding on tightly no matter what.

On the flip side, while we hoped and dreamed about good things in our lives, I dont think we could ever comprehend the good things that we have been able to experience together like the joy of becoming parents, the places we would go, or the things we could accomplish when we work together. 

Our lives are full of mountains and valleys and I am so thankful to have a partner on this journey, through the good and the bad.

We have been tremendously blessed, even in the hard times.
5th Anniversary  |  6th Anniversary  |  7th Anniversary  |  8th Anniversary  |  9th Anniversary
10th Anniversary  |  11th Anniversary

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