baby losing weight in womb | A lovely gift for a friend after loss giveaway

baby losing weight in womb

A few weeks ago, an email popped into my inbox from the Happy Mommy Box that introducing the themed boxes they offer. Happy Mommy Boxes are meant to be encouragement for moms and make especially great gifts for a mom friend who needs a little special surprise to brighten her day. I had seen the boxes before (and obviously signed up for email updates); they were filled with fun little surprises - mugs or bags with encouraging quotes, jewelry or hair ties, etc. In essence, things that are fun to open, pretty to look at, and let you know that the sender wanted to encourage and inspire you in your vocation of motherhood.

So, I opened the email expecting to see more of that. And I did. But I was also shocked, and more that a bit touched, to see that one of the boxes offered was a Grief and Loss Themed Box. Its not often (or maybe ever?) that Ive seen a company geared toward moms that is inclusive of moms who have experienced loss. When searching for pregnancy loss gifts in the past, Ive only seen them sold through companies (mostly small etsy businesses) geared directly toward pregnancy loss. So just the fact that this box even exists sets Happy Mommy Box apart.

The little gifts and cards Ive received after my losses have meant so very much to me. Just knowing that someone is thinking about me and understands the depths of my loss is so helpful to the grieving process. So many times, women feel very alone after a loss. Receiving a carefully picked gift in the mail is such a blessing. But its often hard, especially if you have not experienced loss on your own, to know what to send. The Grief and Loss Themed Box takes the guesswork out of the gift and puts together some very thoughtful items:

"You are my beloved" print. Something lovely to hang in your home to remember that even during the darkest times, you are loved.

"Bind my wandering hear to thee" journal. A place to write down your thoughts and prayers, hopes and fears, anger and sadness.

Psalm 34:18 hand stamped necklace. "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." What a perfect scripture passage to remember that the Lord is near.

Elastic headbands. A little something pretty is especially helpful when you dont have the energy to care for yourself and feel worn down spiritually.

I think this box would make the most lovely gift for someone who has recently lost a baby. My only concern is that maybe the "Happy Mommy Box" packaging might be a sting at first, especially if she has no other living children.. But Im sure once she opened it, she wouldnt mind anymore because the gifts inside are not for the "happy mommy" but perfectly curated for the grieving mother.

Each of the items in the box are available for individual purchase if you did not want to send an entire box, and you can also make a customized box from mixing and matching the items available. (Its much cheaper to buy items in a box than individually if youre planning to buy a few items.)

After seeing the Grief and Loss Box, I contacted Happy Mommy Box to see if they would be willing to give away a box to one of my readers. And they said yes! Use the Rafflecopter below to enter. Open to residents of the US and Canada. PLEASE, Im asking that you only enter if either you have lost a baby yourself or, if you win, you plan to have the box sent to a friend who has lost a baby.  Thank you! 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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baby losing weight in utero | Relief

baby losing weight in utero

Were settling in well to our new/old home in Colorado. David started his job on Monday, I had my first prenatal appointment here yesterday. Ive started changing the preset stations on the car radio. (Thats the true test of whether youve settled in or not, isnt it?) We still have a lot to unpack and arrange and organize, but the hardest parts are over.

We moved when I was 20 weeks pregnant with Lucia (on our first wedding anniversary - boy, that was romantic) and that time I drove instead of flew so I thought this move would be a cinch. But I forgot to factor in the altitude change this time (the previous move was from Indiana to North Carolina, this one was from pretty-darn-close to sea level Raleigh to a mile high) and the fact that this pregnancy has just overall been physically more difficult than my pregnancy with Lucia. But, its done with and I have plenty of time to rest now.

I also made it through my best friends wedding. Being matron of honor AND having Lucia be the flower girl in the wedding was a bit tricky and involved a lot of preparation. Having that all come on the very close heels of a move was, well, a bit insane. Oh, and being pregnant on top of that - yikes, when I put it that way it seems a lot more stressful than I originally expected. But the wedding was beautiful and there were no major hitches and my best friend is a married woman off enjoying her honeymoon, so it was s busy and successful week.

Weve only been here a few weeks, but already its obvious that this move is the best thing we could have done for our family. Before our move, I was struggling with some pretty severe depression and anxiety. We were talking medications and other treatment options and I was really, really scared that if it got any worse, I might have to check myself into some kind of mental health facility. It wasnt quite that bad yet, but it was quickly getting there. It seems impossible that I was feeling that way just a few weeks ago because, today, I feel perfectly fine. 

I know its not just the move that has made that much difference, but certainly thats a factor. The move was a huge stressor that is now completely gone. I also started feeling the baby move a few weeks ago and the kicks have gotten stronger and more regular; having that regular reminder that the baby is alive is huge for my emotional well-being. Im well past the point in pregnancy where I previously miscarried (and the point where miscarrying become much less statistically probable). My parents have been able to help so much with Lucia so I can rest. Ive been super busy unpacking and with the wedding, which has kept me focused on being productive, which is a huge mood booster for me. Ive been getting out of the house regularly and spending a lot of time outdoors with Lucia (which is a huge change for us due to the somewhat unsafe neighborhood we moved from). 

I also stopped taking progesterone. Ive been reading quite a bit about depression in pregnancy and some studies have shown that women with depression tended to also have higher than average levels of progesterone. So maybe it wasnt a good idea for me to continue to add progesterone to my body. My progesterone levels have been healthy and its been causing some other pretty nasty side effects so I decided I would try to go off it and see if it improved my mood. It did. Honestly, Im guessing that was the biggest piece of this puzzle because it was like a veil of depression being almost instantly lifted, which is just insane. 

I feel very fortunate. Although pregnancy will never be blissful or worry-free for me like it was before my miscarriages, it seems like I will be free of the oppressing depression. It was clear to me that I was struggling with something more than just the normal stress and anxiety of a pregnancy after multiple losses, but I had no idea what exactly was the depression and what was "normal" for pregnancy after loss. But here I am and the depression has lifted and what remains is very, very manageable. I still worry about the baby. I still am very aware that something could happen between now and a full-term birth that could result in the death of my child. Im still not feeling all that celebratory or "glowing". There is still a degree of fear and sadness, but much less than before and none of the overwhelming despair. Instead of dreading every day of the rest of my pregnancy (149 days left until my "working" due date according to my pregnancy app), I feel like I can actually enjoy it a bit or if not exactly enjoy it, at least stop feeling like its a burden.

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post pregnancy weight loss menu | Pregnancy Loss Resource Coming to Term a book to explore the medical side of miscarriage

post pregnancy weight loss menu

This book review is an updated version of a post that originally appeared on my old blog, Messy Wife, Blessed Life, on April 21, 2014. This post contains an Amazon affiliate link.

Coming to Term: Uncovering the Truth About Miscarriage by Jon Cohen

Coming to Term is a different type of miscarriage book - its purpose is not to comfort women or share personal narratives and coping strategies. Instead it explores the scientific research behind miscarriage which, in its own way, can be a comfort to those who have experienced pregnancy loss.  The author, Jon Cohen, is a journalist who, after having gone through his wifes multiple losses, noticed that doctors seemed to have very few concrete facts about miscarriage and set out to discover the scientific truth behind miscarriage himself by piecing together the scant medical research on the topic.

I read Coming to Term after my first miscarriage and was a bit ambivalent about it; after having a second miscarriage soon after, Im grateful to have read it.  Knowing some concrete facts about the causes of miscarriage and some of the potential treatments kept me from losing hope after my second loss.  I still often repeat to myself the statistic that Cohen shares: a woman who has a history of repeat miscarriages - three or more - still has a 70% chance of carrying a pregnancy to term without medical intervention.

Perhaps the biggest lessons to be learned from this book is that miscarriage is more common than it was once thought, is largely still a mystery, and most miscarriages cannot be prevented.  Those are some tough facts to face for women that want answers and treatments, but can also be a comfort to know the truth, especially for the many men and women who are told conflicting, outdated, and non-evidence-based information from various medical professionals.

In additional to the hopeful statistics for future pregnancies, the two additional pieces of information that I have felt most useful to me are: 1) Research shows that approximately 50% of miscarriages are due to chromosomal abnormalities, which couples have no control over.  These losses are do not raise the risk for future miscarriages. 2) Blood clotting disorders cause a significant number of miscarriages and the use of heparin and aspirin during pregnancy has been shown to raise the chances of successfully carrying a baby to term.  Because I read this book, I was able to get testing and rule out blood clotting disorders after my second loss. (My doctor would not have mentioned them until after my third.)

I would caution women from reading this book right after a miscarriage.  Give yourself a few months to heal and read some of the more compassionate experience-sharing books first.  (I recommend After Miscarriage and Angels in my Heart.)  I found Coming to Term at times to be very difficult to read because it approached miscarriage in a clinical way.  In addition, there is frequent reference to abortion (there are very strong links between abortion and miscarriage research), fertility treatments that do not respect the dignity of life, and surrogacy, all of which bring up ethical/moral issues and may be difficult to handle soon after a loss.

A consumer-focused view of parenthood that treats babies as a commodity to be obtained runs throughout the book, though it certainly isnt the authors focus or even his intention; he simply includes stories of real couples, many which unfortunately include elements of this.  It is worth reading this book for the valuable medical information it contains; however, make sure you have healed enough and are prepared to be confronted by these issues.

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