pregnancy hormone weight loss drops | Lovely Links

pregnancy hormone weight loss drops

I have a bunch of posts brewing in my head and my blog drafts, but in the meantime I want to share some great articles and blog posts from around the internet. Enjoy!

This post about Meditations on the Rosary and Miscarriage is from May but I just stumbled across it the other day. Its beautiful. 

I just saw that lovely blogger Dwija just announced a new pregnancy. Which reminded me that during her last pregnancy, I sent her an email asking her how she discerned a pregnancy after the loss of her son, Nicholas, at 21 weeks gestation. She wrote a beautiful reply and then later posted on her blog. I dont think Ive ever shared it here and its really worth a read. You can find it here.

I found this article on The Strange New World of Miscarriage Cards to be an interesting read. Im not sure really where I stand on this. On one hand I agree with the author that "There are already sympathy and congratulations cards out there - there are blank cards, vehicles for truly personal and targeted messages thought out by the sender. The whole prospect of sending a card is surely to connect and relate; with these cards, I worry this is already done for you." On the other hand, I think the fact that those cards exist and will be sitting in the greeting card aisle may help people think more deeply about sending a card, or even just acknowledging a loss in a first place, than if they never saw a card specifically for miscarriage. If there is a greeting card for it, then it must be important, right? What do you think?

I loved the honesty in this post about When Pregnancy Feels Underwhelming. Feeling less than thrilled about a pregnancy does not mean youre a bad mother or that you dont love your child or value life. Pregnancy is complicated. There is no one right way to act or think as a pregnant woman. Period.

A reader sent me a link to this beautiful family photo along with the comment: "I saw this and thought of you and your post about the penumbra pregnancy. I love that term!" Its an image Ill never forget.

Most engaged couples probably dont think about the possibilities of infertility and miscarriage in their future, but they would be wise to acknowledge that there will be suffering of some sort or another. And, as this post points out, perhaps the most important question you should ask as you discern marriage is "Can I suffer with this person?"


P.S. My "due date" is exactly a month from today and Id love some prayers as labor and birth approach. David will be out of town for work next week so prayers that the baby doesnt come then would be especially appreciated since I dont have an alternative labor support person if David cant be there. Thanks!



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baby losing weight in womb | A lovely gift for a friend after loss giveaway

baby losing weight in womb

A few weeks ago, an email popped into my inbox from the Happy Mommy Box that introducing the themed boxes they offer. Happy Mommy Boxes are meant to be encouragement for moms and make especially great gifts for a mom friend who needs a little special surprise to brighten her day. I had seen the boxes before (and obviously signed up for email updates); they were filled with fun little surprises - mugs or bags with encouraging quotes, jewelry or hair ties, etc. In essence, things that are fun to open, pretty to look at, and let you know that the sender wanted to encourage and inspire you in your vocation of motherhood.

So, I opened the email expecting to see more of that. And I did. But I was also shocked, and more that a bit touched, to see that one of the boxes offered was a Grief and Loss Themed Box. Its not often (or maybe ever?) that Ive seen a company geared toward moms that is inclusive of moms who have experienced loss. When searching for pregnancy loss gifts in the past, Ive only seen them sold through companies (mostly small etsy businesses) geared directly toward pregnancy loss. So just the fact that this box even exists sets Happy Mommy Box apart.

The little gifts and cards Ive received after my losses have meant so very much to me. Just knowing that someone is thinking about me and understands the depths of my loss is so helpful to the grieving process. So many times, women feel very alone after a loss. Receiving a carefully picked gift in the mail is such a blessing. But its often hard, especially if you have not experienced loss on your own, to know what to send. The Grief and Loss Themed Box takes the guesswork out of the gift and puts together some very thoughtful items:

"You are my beloved" print. Something lovely to hang in your home to remember that even during the darkest times, you are loved.

"Bind my wandering hear to thee" journal. A place to write down your thoughts and prayers, hopes and fears, anger and sadness.

Psalm 34:18 hand stamped necklace. "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." What a perfect scripture passage to remember that the Lord is near.

Elastic headbands. A little something pretty is especially helpful when you dont have the energy to care for yourself and feel worn down spiritually.

I think this box would make the most lovely gift for someone who has recently lost a baby. My only concern is that maybe the "Happy Mommy Box" packaging might be a sting at first, especially if she has no other living children.. But Im sure once she opened it, she wouldnt mind anymore because the gifts inside are not for the "happy mommy" but perfectly curated for the grieving mother.

Each of the items in the box are available for individual purchase if you did not want to send an entire box, and you can also make a customized box from mixing and matching the items available. (Its much cheaper to buy items in a box than individually if youre planning to buy a few items.)

After seeing the Grief and Loss Box, I contacted Happy Mommy Box to see if they would be willing to give away a box to one of my readers. And they said yes! Use the Rafflecopter below to enter. Open to residents of the US and Canada. PLEASE, Im asking that you only enter if either you have lost a baby yourself or, if you win, you plan to have the box sent to a friend who has lost a baby.  Thank you! 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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pregnancy weight loss in first trimester | On Loss and Marriage

pregnancy weight loss in first trimester

A couple weekends ago, my husband and I headed up to the mountains for our fifth anniversary. It was our first getaway as a couple since our honeymoon. It was perfect. We stayed at a darling bed and breakfast, ate way too much good food, and did not much else. Throughout the weekend, I constantly came back to the thought that this was really, really good for us. Its important for all married couples to have times of relaxation and enjoyment together, but it struck me as especially needed for a couple who has undergone difficult emotional trauma.

Couples who have gone through the loss of a child (pregnancy loss included) have a much higher divorce rate for a reason. After our second loss, I found myself utterly surprised by how altered our marriage had become. I found myself avoiding my husband because he had become a reminder of the pain of our losses. I couldnt even look at him without the sharp reminder of the babies we lost. There was a part of me to felt that it would be easier if we were no longer together, if I no longer had him around as a constant reminder. If we went our separate ways, it would would be so much easier to pretend our losses never existed, and without that constant reminder, then maybe the pain would be a little less.

These were all fleeting thoughts, of course, nothing I ever dwelt on. And they were most certainly lies. The pain of separating from my husband, the only person who knew and loved the children we lost as intimately as I did, would have only brought more pain to our losses. (Not to mention the pain it would bring to our living child, to our families, and to every other aspect of our lives.) No matter how much I tried, no matter what lengths I would have gone through, it would have been futile to try to ignore the pain of our losses anyway; its much healthier to confront and heal that pain and we could only truly do that together.

When I think of the short lives of four miscarried children, I want them to have meaning. I want them to, despite the pain of loss, bring good into the world and that starts right here with their family. What good would come from their short lives and deaths if they put a wedge between their parents?

Looking back at the most difficult points of our marriage after loss, its so very clear how Satan uses our times of pain and weakness. Christian marriages are reflection of the beauty and goodness of God. The procreative aspect of those marriages is a very visible sign to the world of power of love. When something goes wrong with the life-giving element of marriage (be it infertility or loss), doubts creep in as to the validity of the marriage, or if not the validity at least the value.

And then there is the guilt. One member of the couple usually feels all the weight and blame of loss and fertility issues. Even when there is no no firm diagnosis, the woman usually pulls the guilt upon herself. Its hard to bridge that gap, to feel like infertility/loss is happening go both of you together instead of one of you pushing it upon the other. Its easy to believe that you are at fault, preventing your partner from having the children they deserve, wondering if he isnt better off with someone else who can give him living children. Humans are bodies and souls and as much as wed like to separate our spiritual life, the brokenness of the body can often lead to brokenness in the soul.

Four losses in less than a year and a half. Surgery. Another pregnancy. I wish I could say that this pregnancy has helped to heal our wounds, and Im still hopeful that after the birth of our child the healing will come, but so far its only seemed to deepen them. Or at least call attention to them in a way that is no longer possible to ignore. The wounds are still there, but our approach is different. Were no longer pulling away from each other, but turning toward one another in our sorrow. We grieve differently, my husband more stoic and silent, my tears and pain more visible and vocal, but instead of letting those differences pull us apart, were learning to care for each others individual needs. I feel guilty that my body failed to nurture our children, David feels helpless as he watches me continue to go through trauma he would do anything to relieve. Together were working on finding other fruits and creative outlets for our marriage, so that its value doesnt hinge solely on our fertility.

As we sat up in our room the mountains, we talked about our favorite moments and the blessings of our first five years of marriage. The conversation was more somber than we would have ever expected it to be. Between mentioning milestones and cherished memories, there were long pauses where we silently thought about the sorrows and struggles which, at least numerically, outnumber the hallmark moments. But reflecting on those difficult times gave us the ability to rejoice in the strength and durability of our marriage, the flexibility wed found and the lessons weve learned. We understood the importance of leaving room in for God (and for heartache and tragedy and time to rebuild) in our future goals, of setting priorities instead of milestones, and thinking eternally,

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