weight loss during pregnancy miscarriage | Future Past

weight loss during pregnancy miscarriage

The single, "Future / Past"  came out on iTunes today and I have been listening to it all morning. We love the McMillan family so much and are so blessed to be a part of the most amazing community with them here in Charlotte. John Mark is an incredible songwriter and brings so much authenticity, raw beauty and true honesty to his music. You can download "Future / Past" on iTunes HERE. Watch the music video down below, as well! You might see a familiar girl in a black hat in there somewhere. ;) The night this was filmed, probably was one of my favorites ever. Hours of genuine love, surrounded by friends, singing our guts out, laughing, pure joy, worship and  community. Guys, I actually got blisters and I didnt step out from my tiny 3 ft circle of space. These lyrics move me to my core. I tear up when I sing them and find hope as I  turn them over again and again in my heart. I hope your hearts are lifted this morning in joy and hope. Enjoy! 

The full album "Borderland" will be released 3.4.14 mark your calendars!  Ah, cant wait! 

(the night "future / past" was filmed. best night ever!) 

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weight loss during pregnancy hormones | Pet Insurance

weight loss during pregnancy hormones

Exactly 20 years ago today I became a cat-mom. A black domestic short haired cat with white paws adopted me from the North Shore Animal League. I named her Sushi. It was the first time I had every experienced the proverbial love-at-first-site.

Sushi and I would go on to adopt two other cats: Baby, a gray domestic short hair and DaisyMay, a marmalade beauty -or what my English friends call, a ginger cat.

Today I am cat-less. Baby left this earth exactly 10 days before Alison was born. She was 11 and her death wrought havoc on my world already saturated with the loss of my son Solomon.

Sushi would die 10 days before my 39th birthday. Her death hit me like a ton of bricks. Sushi had been with me since college. She lived through my first marriage and divorce, my pursuing my Masters degree, the building of my career, my remarriage and the loss of Solomon. She and I had a deal: she would live until I turned 40. She tried. As she was dying in my arms she licked my fingers as if to say goodbye. She was 18 years and 4 months old.

On October 12, 2006 my DaisyMay passed. And while there is no "10 day" coincidence in her death, she died 19 days prior to her 16th birthday. My sweetheart of a cat who was finally comfortable with all the love my son Adam could heap on her.

Exactly 24 hours later, upon fetching my mail from its box, I received what I could only a slap in the face: a brochure from the ASPCA asking me to sign up for pet insurance. I sat and stared and thought of the irony of receiving this while in the midst of my grief...and thought of the times Id received baby advertisements after losing Solomon. The feelings were so much the same: anger, sadness and defeat. I couldnt understand why, and still cannot.

In six years time I have mourned the loss of my son Solomon, another miscarriage and the deaths of my cats. I have also celebrated the birth of my children. Im hoping the next six years are more even-keeled.

Tonight I lit my candles in honor of Solomon, his brother Baby Z and my cats...all in the name of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness day. My cats made me a mother, my children make me a parent. I love them all.

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herbalife weight loss during pregnancy | Baby Steps

herbalife weight loss during pregnancy

My stepson has a family heritage project to do, and he, his mother, my husband and myself hope to get a good grade on it. The project has many pieces, and trying to figure out whats appropriate in a divorce/stepfamily situation has proven easier than it would appear.

One of the pieces to be constructed is a poster of the family tree. The sheet we are using as a guideline stops at my stepson, in which case it does not include myself or the children I have with my husband who are my stepsons half-siblings. No big deal really. But my stepsons mother, who is doing the poster, not only has generously include myself and my children, she sent me an email asking how to acknowledge Solomon. I was both shocked and touched.

At the time of my loss I was convinced she did not understand. And to be honest, I dont know for sure that at the time she did. But today is a new day and she gets it. As Im not comfortable sharing Solomons picture, we agreed to use a charm that depicts a little boy, similar to the one I was given by my husband for my first mothers day. When I say first, I do mean first: immediately after we lost Solomon. I was a mother, a childless one, but still a mother.

So a photo of a charm depicting my little boy will be mounted on the poster along with pictures of myself, daughter and son. Im thrilled.

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baby losing weight in hospital | Come and gone

baby losing weight in hospital

Another Walk to Remember has come and gone and this is the first time I have been able to sit and write a word or two. It was a blustery day filled with less people than I expected. In greeting my fellow journeyers and others I learned Anna would not be there. Like an arrow through my heart the pain shot - how could I speak without Anna?
Anna was my lifeline and while in reality I would have had to get through my grief eventually, I know my journey would have been different without her. She provided the unconditional support. She was there morning, noon and night through my grief and subsequent pregnancies. I owe so much to her for returning me to some semblance of a life.
And now she would not be at the event, our Walk to Remember, and I was crushed.

***

On the heels of the Walk was the anniversary of Baby Z. I dont really know when I lost him, but 10/23/00 is the day I mark since it is the day of the D&C to remove what might have been from me. I was so busy I didnt even get to light a candle. But I was busy with the blessings that he paved the way for.

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