healthy pregnancy weight loss | Impatience and Gratitude

healthy pregnancy weight loss

For a woman who is struggling with infertility or loss, it often can be very difficult to hear pregnant women complain about their pregnancies. Even if its not truly complaining but simply discussing the aches and pains of pregnancy, it can sound like a lack of gratitude. However, the physical and emotional tolls of pregnancy are real. How does one balance acknowledging the struggles of pregnancy with gratitude for the child the pregnancy brings?

Our baby is much desired and much loved, coming after a very difficult time of loss after loss. I am deeply thankful for this child and for the ability to carry a pregnancy to term. And yet these past several weeks have still been filled with exhaustion, discomfort, and pain. The joy of our child and pregnancy certainly allow me to view this suffering in a more positive light, however, it doesnt mute it. The sleepless nights, the back and hip pain, the headaches, the searing heartburn, etc, etc, etc. are all still there. And yet acknowledging those physical burdens makes me feel guilty. Ive never once thought that our baby isnt worth the pain, but even admitting that there is pain somehow seems wrong.

My "official" due date is tomorrow, though I think that my real due date passed last weekend. This end time has been much more difficult than I expected. My daughter was 8 days "late" and I was really calm and patient until she arrived. Im much more uncomfortable this time, but also emotionally much more anxious. I never worried during my first pregnancy, never considered that a pregnancy would - or even could, really - end with anything other than a healthy, living child. This time is different. Its not that Ive expected that something would go wrong, but every moment Ive been aware that something very well could go wrong. And so, as I reach the very end of this pregnancy, the urgency seemed heightened. Ive made it this far - nine months! - and Im just so, so very anxious to finally reach the finish line. Each day that goes by seems like an eternity. 

And yet, both the baby and I are healthy. While Im certainly tired and uncomfortable and in a bit of pain, Im overall feeling well for nine months pregnant. It seems so greedy to ask or pray for the baby to come now instead of waiting patiently. Ive already gotten nine months of a healthy pregnancy, something so many women pray and plead for. Why cant I suffer a little more? Why cant I enjoy the time I have left? Why must I want more? 

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pregnancy hormone weight loss diet | My Pregnancy After Loss Essentials

pregnancy hormone weight loss diet

What have I reached for to get me through this pregnancy? What are some gifts to send friends that are struggling with a pregnancy after loss? Ive received several similar questions recently, so here are a few of the things that Ive loved this pregnancy:

1. Pampering products: Taking the time to care for myself has been absolutely necessary this pregnancy. When Im not pregnant, I really am not big into pampering myself, but its the little things that have made a difference during the past several months - relaxing baths, scented candles, soothing lotions.
Gift ideas: I cant recommend the products from Bumblewood Handmade enough (and owner Meg is wonderful!). I also adore Immaculate Waters, lotions and soaps made from Lourdes Grotto Water!

2. Cute maternity clothes: It sounds a little silly to say this out loud but when I feel physically beautiful during this pregnancy, its much easier to feel internally joyful about the upcoming baby. So having a few favorite pieces of maternity clothing has made all the difference for me. A very sweet friend sent me a ton of adorable maternity clothes, but Ive also boosted my maternity wardrobe by shopping local thrift shops and online used clothes stores Schoola* and ThredUp*. (Schoola is my absolute favorite - I got some designer maternity pieces for under $10!!!) Spending money on maternity clothes (even though its not a lot of money) also has a deeper significance for me. It means that Im investing - financially or otherwise - in this pregnancy. Especially early on, it required me to say, I believe Ill be pregnant long enough to wear/need/fit into this clothing. And, its an investment in future pregnancies, admitting that I believe we might be able to have more successful pregnancies in the future. And admitting those things internally are way more important than looking pretty.
Gift ideas: Gift cards for a place that sells maternity clothes or if youre comfortable picking out something for your friend, a cute new top or dress. If youre feeling particularly generous, Stitch Fix credit* would be amazing too. (Apparently Le Tote* will have a maternity option soon too.) Hand-me-downs definitely feel like gifts to me too, so if you have some maternity clothes you can pass on, do!

3. Food, prepared by someone else: Im sure all pregnant women appreciate a break from shopping and cooking, but Ive felt that way especially this pregnancy. When anxiety and depression set in, there just isnt a lot of energy available for food prep. Sometimes I think that meals delivered during pregnancy are just as important as meals delivered after the baby! Ive been very blessed in that most dinners have been prepared by my sweet husband or my parents (since we live with them). Having one less thing to worry about has been such a blessing:
Gift ideas: Home cooked meals, gift cards for restaurants, or drop off a bag of groceries.

4. Natural remedies: I dont presume to speak for all moms pregnant after a loss and some of the things Ive mentioned may not be your friends cup of tea, this one especially. Im just sharing what is meaningful to me, and for me, natural remedies for pregnancy symptoms and discomfort have been great. I tend to avoid medical intervention unless necessary for a few reasons: 1) This pregnancy is already more medicalized than the average. I had four or five ultrasounds by the end of the first trimester. My husband gave me frequent injections for the first few months. Id just like to avoid feeling like a walking science experiment every second of every day unless its absolutely necessary. 2) Any additional risk factors from medications make me nervous. They would anyway, but since I already have my own risk factors in pregnancy and I already have proved to be a rare statistic in many ways, the anxiety they produce is intensified. Of course, Ill take any medication thats needed, but when it comes to just dealing with uncomfortable symptoms (like mild nausea, heartburn, etc.), Id prefer to seek relief from natural remedies.
Gift ideas: I love Earth Mama Angel Baby teas** for morning sickness and heartburn and magnesium oil** for leg cramps. (Be sure to talk to your midwife/doctor about how much magnesium youre getting because magnesium toxicity is rare, but possible. Im not a doctor and not offering medical advice here.)

5. Distractions: Being able to escape for a little while into a hobby (knitting for me), a good book (or coloring book - seriously, coloring is so relaxing!), or a favorite television show (my number one pick is probably jeopardy - geriatric at heart over here!) is so needed. Sometimes its nice to just be able to stop thinking (worrying) about the pregnancy and put 100% of my attention into something else. I also do this by staying busy around the house with housework. Housework is fine and all, but Id prefer to stay busy doing something I enjoy too.
Gift ideas: Netflix or Amazon Prime** subscriptions, books, Creative Colouring Books for Grownups**, supplies for your friends hobbies (yarn for a knitter or crocheter, etc.) or a gift card to a craft store

6. Cute things for baby: Up until just recently, it was really, really hard for me to buy anything for baby. Because I just couldnt imagine that this pregnancy would end with a living baby that would actually need things. I still cant quite imagine it, but I do need to prepare for baby and since I purged baby things after each miscarriage, there are a few thing a baby will actually need that we dont have. But, even though Ive been getting the basics, I still havent been buying the cutesy things. I cant go there. But I appreciate it so, so much when someone else gives me cute baby things. There hasnt been a lot of joy or excitement expressed for this baby mainly, Im sure, because friends and family were worried wed have another loss. I completely understand - I havent been able to muster much joy myself because of fear and anxiety - but when someone does take the time to buy or make something for baby (or sort their hand-me-downs for us!), it means the world to me.
Gift ideas: Baby clothes, books, toys, hand-me-downs, etc. Cute baby things are easy to find, so you probably dont need any help, though Im loving Bison Booties and these muslin swaddle blankets** as gifts.

7. Prayer: Prayer has been my constant this pregnancy. I havent always been able to pray much myself, so Ive often depended on the prayers of others (including the Saints) and surrounded myself with visual reminders of prayers, the Catholic faith, and Gods love. Some of my favorite items include an amazing St. Gerard chaplet a reader sent to me quite a while ago (there arent any available in her etsy shop right now, but you could probably request she make a custom one) and the new statue we just got for our room (and to bring with us for the birth).
Gift ideas: Catholic books, prayer cards, rosaries or chaplets, medals, or just your sweet prayers. Jenna just posted some of her favorite Catholic jewelry, which is all so beautiful and would all be so cherished in my home.
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What has helped you during your pregnancy after loss? Did you receive any gifts that were particularly meaningful?

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